Lyrics
Hit the play button.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006 @ 11:32 PM:
Wasn't really in a good mood ytd.
Though i tried to put on smile on my face.
Trying to share some of my burden with the class guys.
But ultimately i think they still failed me.
What the heck are they thinking?
Keep creating scandals of me.
They just can't stop.
They just treat this as a joke.

Worse.
Someone mistook me as Loi Xuan or whatever name.
Who is this person?
I am now being called some scandal because of this name.
Even worse.
I just found that that was a girl's name.
Since when did i had a girl's name?
Do i do lyk a girl or a shemale?
Enough of this fking scandals.
so come on, tell me.
Monday, October 30, 2006 @ 1:34 AM:
Went to ah ban house today.
His leg is getting better.
Everyone started playing mahjong.
I know nuts about mahjong.
Went a horror show with spas instead.
Too spastic that she cant on a CPU. =X

O Levels are starting today.
Good Luck to everyone.

Did something so stupid and foolish today.
Maybe i was just too rash.
Maybe i was just too impulsive.
Tot everything would be just fine.
Just normal...
Screwed things up.

Problems starting flowing in.
I just can't rely on people anymore.
No one shall be implicated.
I mess these things up myself.
Now i shall clear these mess myself...

I'm just a nuthead.
I gonna reflect on myself.
I can't seems to solve my things properly.
so come on, tell me.
Sunday, October 29, 2006 @ 2:15 AM:
Didn't intended to go out today.

But still got a call from rq to meet him,gz,moo and shawn in the late aftn.
Took my sweet time to went down while they went to play lan.
Was searching for the unknown girl in bugis who had been diaoing mi from dover.
Accidently stumbled into Weijian and Alica somehow.
Weijian seems quite suprise to see me, bleh. Lucky i was alone.
That was their 4th date... their really progressing fast.
Caught up with rq, and i was 2 hours late.

Crap, spent all my money in one go, needa start saving money again.

Yeah, I'm starting to like the colour purple somehow.
This colour purple is officially in my colour list.

Purple, Green, Blue , Purple.
so come on, tell me.
Saturday, October 28, 2006 @ 2:07 PM:
Life is lost
Flowers fall
If it's a dream
Now wake me up
If it's a real
Just kill me

________________________________
The Art of Life.
so come on, tell me.
Friday, October 27, 2006 @ 11:03 PM:
I'm being exploited!

Went to wisma just to pei edmund get redeem his repaired phone. He demanded food from me as I was late. And then he just ps me to watch some sec sch concert. -.-''

Chinese As are starting next fri and i can't bothered to touch them. Maybe i just not gonna touch it. I would have glad if i can hit a pass.

Haha! Was regretting tt i didn't chose F1 which i was suppose to be in. But it was nv a mistake as I'm now in F5!!!

Playing pokemon is a waste of time. Spent my precious hours to train these stupid pokemons and trying to do quest. Screwed up all these pokemons, i rather play dota.

My sis got some goong discs with the last few episodes. Can't catch any ball what the show is about. I had missed so much episodes from the TV series too. Seems like i gonna need to ask someone to lend mi vcd... Rq i am still waiting for u to lend mi, bleh.

Feel so threatened by everyone around me, O.o what am i thinking?

________________________________________________________
Its not a triangle, but a SQUARE.
so come on, tell me.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006 @ 8:59 PM:
Oh,

what am i gonna write today?

Nvm, I'll just write out whatever that pops in my mind.

Anyway blogging sometimes make my privacy being intruded. I rarely blog things that are on my mind. In that case, is this still my beloved diary? Maybe I should just set some password or change my blog add. Hmm, maybe a bit too extreme.

Went to gym for volleyball training due to the rain. Yea, i had this feeling that my height has shrunked. I have been concerned bout my height every since i shrinked 1 cm during a period. Oh fk. Been comparing over people's height with me since few months ago. I don't like being short. It really vex me a lot, doubt anyone will know the reason behind that. I want my pride back.

So what kind of love season is this currently?

Friends around me getting so despo for girls.

I see people got rejected, people crying over stuffs that don exist blah blah blah.

How about me? I think i just gonna leave things stagnant. I'm not good enough to get into a relationship currently. Yea u all may think i can, but i cant do it.

I'm not gonna blog anything more, got some work to rush.
_____________________________________________________
Life stucked in a gingseng root.
so come on, tell me.
Monday, October 23, 2006 @ 10:56 PM:
Oh, whats going on with people these days?

I made esther cried without doing anything again. Wtf. I don't care what freddy says anyway. I think there is no need for me to explain. I wonder why am i always involved in such stupid things. Sickening.

Am I fated to die under their hands? Why am i always got involved in things between both of them? I told myself that i would not bother her as much as other people do, I don't wanna land myself into any trouble too.

I tried to avoid myself and refrain myself from talking to her, hoping i would not get involved in terrible stuffs that will hurt her. But things always end up the other way round. Whats going on?
so come on, tell me.
Sunday, October 22, 2006 @ 10:19 PM:
Days since i last blogged.

Another long walk ytd. This time was from Plaza Sing to Little India.
Wanted to go midnight shopping, got lost in the middle of Little India.
Have thoughts of going home, but no trains.
Luckily there is still bus 67 operating at 1+.
Haha, could have took bus 302 back, but flag a cab home instead. Argh.
Poor Chia, shes the only one living in BB, hope she reaches home safely.
Yeah, I'm just one of the few that can come home late, didn't got screwed when i reached home.

And I gonna continue my PW work for now, crap. No sleep.

Today's PW meeting was quite interesting.
2 pw groups merging at hui x2 house to do PW.
Kinda party over there, so much nice food to eat over at her house!
Kinda not productive for our PW group over there, at least we all know what we were suppose to do though.

___________________________________________________________

Paranoid me.
What am i thinking these days?
I'm feel like someone is strangling me.
My days are near...
so come on, tell me.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006 @ 11:08 PM:

Ryan Cabrera
True

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think
I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm

I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hideIt's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
so come on, tell me.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006 @ 1:43 AM:
Haze, Haze, Haze

Everyday is a hazy day. When will those Indonesians ever stop burning forests down? Every part of Singapore is turning into Genting Highlands, just that we are breathing in smog everyday. Watching the PSI going as high up to 150, where u think that u feel so relax looking at the misty buildings around Singapore, while in fact yr days lefts and become closer and closer.

Look at myself, I never gonna recover my cough till the haze stop. Imagine going out almost everyday especially in town areas with the hazy condition, how long am i going to survive? But Singaporeans just don't care, people like me just go out like no one's business and u still can see in town its is still as crowded as everyday.

Last sat was worse, went to Marina Bay for steamboat with my fellow classmates. Though it was suppose to be an class outing, it is usually the same old classmates whom we often went out to have fun. We almost couln't got seats, though the PSI that day was around 100 i think. No one even bothers about the PSI, Singaporeans like us do really know how to enjoy life. =)

After dinner, went to try out something exciting. Walked to Marina Square from Marina Bay trying to catch a 9+ movie. Ying x2 lead us a way where we went through forests, bushes, underground channel which was so dark and errie. Wonder how the hell this girl get to know this kind of route. It was so dark and secluded where any girl can just get dragged into bushes and get screwed by rapists. End up walking in some highway ( Nicole Highway i suppose) where we start took pictures in the middle of the streets. -_-''

Couldn't catch the movie man, went to Starhubs to have a long chat. Happy memories were brought back from the Dunearn Times, where we bullied and create trouble for teachers, especially Ms Ng Chai Mui! Poor her, but she deserve it anyway. Went back teachers' day to see her end up getting mocked by her. Haix, this kind of teacher... I'm speechless.

Talked till 12+, couldn't got the last train to my house. The last train was to Kranji where its just 1 station away from my house, darn it. End up taking Night Rider from Orchard. Wasted 3 bucks of my ezlink card, i just topped up 10 bucks 2 days ago and now i have left 3 bucks in my ezlink card. Should have asked my father to fetch me from Kranji...Argh.

My savings are just falling each day, I have not spent on any single clothing yet, all i spent was on food. From 80 bucks left with 20 bucks in just 2 weeks, im so screwed. Guess i gotta get a job soon. Found 1 lobang from my working friend, i gonna work asap to overcome my financial difficulties.

For PW, i can see that our members are all getting back together. Freddy is back to normal again i feel so delighted as our group is going to stand up again after going through so many ups and downs. Things between me and Freddy has start to calm down and we are back to friend again i suppose. Freddy I don't really mean what to say in the blog so u can ignore what i have blogged in the past. Anyway i don't really like to blog at someone's back scolding him and her as its quite a rude way. I mean like next time there are problems we can just trash things out face to face instead of using a blog, which i pray that this will never happen again. So everyone lets move on and enjoy the urban life of Singapore!

_________________________________________________
Oh you are just like my O2, how am i gonna breath without you?
so come on, tell me.
Sunday, October 15, 2006 @ 2:40 AM:
14/10/06 Sat.

Suppose to go to school to have the PW meeting with 3 members. I know Freddy is gonna make a big fuss over at the school. Jeanette has been telling mi to control myself and tolerate that guy. I woke up late in the morning...Slpt on the com while brushing up on my slides. I ask kor to call mi up at 2, but he failed to wake mi up. I was just too tired after havin so much thoughts. I didn't set my alarm. So screwed.

Reached school very late, he was expecting me already, giving me the pissed look. Yeah for more details look at his blog. Hes spreading to the whole world about me being a failure. OH so wonderful! Just like how he blog about the chair thing when i tot it was just a minor thing. Yupz, Zhi Liang, dono what happen to him anyway, didnt reply my calls and smses. So it just left me and him at the CR. After hearing the rest of the members cannot make it, he was so pissed and said "Why make a meeting when everyone cannot attend? I have my own things to do also!" And he just walk off. Haha, nice drama right? OH fuck you kid u think I really wan this thing to happen? I was also forced by Ms Chan to carry out this meeting, you should have heard it on Friday too. So smart huh? Come take over as the leader? Everytime ask you to take over me as the leader you don't wan. No balls? Then don't complain to other people behind my back.

Yea I know, I just cannot control my members, things are just too complicated. I'm glad that Ms Chan understands me unlike some irrational kid. Well, sometimes i will just look at the bright side, maybe Freddy is having his menses over these days, I hope that things may get better someday.

Haha I shall control myself then, I am not going to do anything silly guys. Kor I know u wan me to give him a feel punches to wake his senses up, but i tell u he wont due to his stubborn nature. I am not going to land myself in jail just because of him. What is he worth of me punch him? Nah this thing has never crossed my mind, cause i am too soft hearted.

Regarding to Freddy's blog, come on we did like to joke about MUDS. We joked about them everyday, but we still know our limits and we know when we should stop and get serious towards racial sensitivity. We are all chinese after all, thats why we said things and joke behind other races, NOT in front of them. Get your facts right btw, when did we mention that all Malays are muds, before u push the blame on us. I didn't called you a MUD, so thats non of my business.

Yeah you call us as insensitive jerk, well who the hell u think you are. You think u have not insulted people in yr life? U know yrself I don't wish to say anymore. I don't think that you are fit enough to talk some sense in us coz you yrself arn't. Till then we didn't insult a minority in front of them, so what makes you think that we are extreme racists? U asked all chinese whether anyone of them don talk about racist jokes before? If so why arn't there fightings between both Chinese and Malays all over Singapore Singapore is just an open society. Oversensitive jerk.

Since when did you entrust me stuffs btw? What did i lie to you about? You are just making yourself looking sacarstic after all. =D

Haix. Thx to one particular guy, I have no mood to blog anymore. Think i shall stop here, not gonna put my happy moments inside this entry.

___________________________________________________
I don't wanna post this, you force me to.
so come on, tell me.
1:29 AM:
Yeah I'm back. Gonna blog since so much things happen within such a few days and my blog is getting rusty.

13/10/05

Nothing much happen in sch... just wanted to get my last SEA marks. Such a disappointment to see my results anyway.

Basically sch just ended after 20mins after we were released. Haha shouln't have come to sch. I should have ask one of my classmates to help mi get my results back.

JJ open house was pathetic. So few people came to our sch for visiting unlike the amount of students who came on SA on Sat. I was frantically trying to drag some innocent students into the hall for the talk, which I find the talk meaningless for them. Nothing interesting or exciting. JJ is so poor that they even have to charge people for catching fishes or some other games in the PD block. Argh, didn't got to catch the full cheerleading stuffs anyway, heard that it was very nice. I heard from my friend that JJ even got complained for having poor service. Some ushers just neglect the students and leave them alone wandering. LOL. Poor kids. Anyway I find the open house just a small attempt to raise funds for the sch by cheating these small kids. I myself being a JJcian find it so shameful.

Went to Kbox immediately after helping out in the open house. Girls, as expected by the guys, didn't come for the kbox in the end. Nevermind, at least we guys have our own privacy in the singing room and we can do whatever we want. Jack didn't came as he was having a curfew, Freddy, well i guess hes just not interest in singing with us. Why? God knows.

Oh crap, we felt that we have got scammed after we saw the bills. Total amount for the bills was 106 bucks which was around 17.50 bucks for each person, while the person at the reception told us the student amt for kbox was 12 bucks ++. Well, better take note of this ++, this ++ can add up to a huge sum of money. Working at Seoul Garden in the past i seen many of these customers gave the feeling of being scammed look when they saw the bills. The assorted tidbits was made up of some gold or whatever shit. They charged 1 small cup of tibits for 5 bucks each, and we had 3 cups which meant that added up total 15 bucks. Scammed.

We really had fun in the kbox anyway, everyone faces were so happy and cheerful, playing around in the room, messing and screwing our voices up etc. We sang our last song ''TUO DIAO'' to end off everything. Attempted to gang Darryl and strip his clothes off. Practically everyone just got too high and start to strip each other clothes. Then the next thing i saw was broken glasses and drinks flying towards my directions. Lucky i wore long pants or i gonna have many cuts on my legs. We broke 3 glasses of cup. We tot that we gonna get screwed and got ready to pay for those cups. But thank that they didn't. Kbox is just earning too much money anyway. 3 cups is nothing compared to the revenue they are earning everyday.

-----------------------------------------------------------

That night i was also trying hard to settle down to arrange a meeting for my group. Basically we have not done anything yet, no rehearse just some slides being done with. Yeah I know i just cant get a full attendence. People were like their free days from Sat to Sun and vice versa. Well, I decided to put the day on Sat since everyone claims that they have time on Sat. Ok, so the day of the meeting is settled.

Next thing is the venue, I asked all my members whether any of their house is available for the meeting, as we need another computer to do other stuffs and it is inconvenient for us to do it in a quiet place as we need to practise our speech for the presentation.

None of them, including me, said their house is avaliable. Yeah everyone has their own reasons, including me.

Next time i asked was give me a suggested place to do our work.

All the replies was, " You are the leader, you decide yourself".

Ok fine, so i suppose everyone is fine with everything. I choose Parklane TSC as i couldn't find a suitable place, really spent many mins racking my brains to choose an ideal place. Furthermore i seen Clara's group at TSC doing their PW and i felt that it was a good place since there are also free Internet access.

So what was the replies i got? Oh its so far and inaccessible, why do u should such a place blah blah blah. Oh what the fuck is wrg man all say fine with anything then start complaining when i select a place for them. Think its easy to choose a place ah, y don't u guys be the leader instead. All u know is complain complain, wanting your own way, cannot give in to each other ah. U all smart u all suggest a place lah ccb.

Look at freddy's reply: " And u choose a place that is neither here or there."

Even Hoe Han was pissed off when he look at the sms as he was going back home with me from kbox. He told me to write Freddy back that Heaven and Hell is neither a place here or there. I didn't intended to send that back, i was hesitating. Should i sent back this to him? I was too softhearted. Anyway my sentiments just made mi send this sms back.

Yea as expected he replied he don't wanna come anymore.

Wan Jun then replied that she cannot make it due to her commitment, I guess its because of SJAB.

Called Ms chan, I told her all my problems, agreed to put the meeting at JJ sch computer lab. Yeah i know i'm just imcapable, but i have no choice.

Jeanette called me again that she cant make it coz she got group service. Well, screwed, she cant pospone or cancel the service, which lefts 3 of us.

Haix, are commitments really that important? I really don understand. COMMITMENTS COMMITMENTS COMMITMENTS. Since the beginning of PW its commitments taking priority over PW. Oh well, what can i say? I cant force them to go. Someone please enlighten me, I don't have my own commitments? I can use the time to do something else ok? Isn't that commitment?

-----------------------------------------------------------
Have I done the right thing? Yeah, maybe i have done the right thing. I seems be the only guy in the class tolerating him and given him many chances even though his actions really pissed me off. Yeah he claims that he don't deserve any respect. In the first place, did he even wanna earn our respect from him? Yeah, hes can be a nice guy, but his actions and immature thinking just make people cannot stand him. Did he changed yet? I'm sure the answer is no. So whats so nice to spread everyone's personal things and secrets around to the whole world Freddy? What things have u achieved from that? Spreading things around when people don't like it? Big mouth huh? Can't wait to see people get pissed off or unhappy thx to your mouth? Talk talk talk. Debate team big fuck? Your English is good so u can use those sophisticated language to insult me whenever we end up quarrelling? Im alrdy sick of arguing with you, don't u realised that i have been tolerating your insults and yr criticism everytime in PW? Yeah you may not even know what you have done, but people ard me know coz they know this is Freddy. What else can they do? Yeah I agree with classmates that u are just lucky that u are in JC or u would have got beaten up by other people somewhere else. Class 06A01 is not isolating you anyway, we just want u to change your fking attitude towards us. You are just thinking too much. Go and reflect on yourself boy before u put the blame on us.
so come on, tell me.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006 @ 2:10 AM:
What a hectic day.

I don wanna come to school today, i'm so sick. I am having this cough since 2 days before and my mucus just keep flowing non stop like a tap water. Too bad, this is how my parents are, since young i have been attending school even though i'm sick as i'm so being forced. I also don wanna spread my flu to my classmates, i have been trying not to. Hope that everyone in the class still remains healthy. I don't really wanna talk in class. Papers and results just keep flowing to me, i have recieved good ones as well as bad ones. Good thing is that i'm currently passing all my H2 subjects. I didn't expect myself to pass econs. I merely studied only the night before as i already had the intention to forgo econs for my other subjects. I don't really deserve that grade, maybe Lord has been helping me all these while. Thank You. The bad ones are i am currently failing all my H1 subjects except GP. Well expected, my chinese was so flunked. I can't even understand a single passage. My standard is just like a sec 2 chinese student. I have been grasping hard onto chinese since then. I don't think i can do well for my As. I'm just letting nature take its course, whether i'm predestined to pass or fail my chinese. Maths, I been flunking it always. Hopeless me.

Class today was filled with ups and downs. Everyone is trying to get their ass promoted, everyone is been studying or mugging hard for their subjects. But there are still bounded to have setbacks. Its terrible to see yrself studying hard and looking at yr efforts go into vain as shown by your results. Well, all i can say is that try harder, the mentality is there already. So people who feel that they had done badly don't feel so upset, i'm sure all of your efforts will pay off one day. Jiayou class! I really wan to see the everyone promote up to J2. This class is already getting smaller and smaller, I pray that no one will leave 06A01 next year. I'm so terribly sick today. Most of the time i have been keeping quiet and listening to people around. The only noises i made was my coughing and sneezing. I think i have sneeze about 50 times in school, using up to 2 packets of tissue. Thx jack and hui x2 for the tissue. =)

Chinese class was such a boring day. I was quite upset about my chinese results, looking at my paper 2 pulling my results all the way from grade B to a fail. I am feeling so tired and lethargic. I dragged my chair quite a few times in class. I know that everyone is feeling irritated by the high pitch voices, especially Freddy due to his sensitive ears. He demanded for a apology and i didn't give him. I can't just speak out then. My nose was already red with mucus flowing and my coughing made me panted a lot in school, my tiredness made me just ignore what freddy has said. I know thats a selfish reason of mine not to apologise for people who are waiting for my apology. Well i know that some of my classmates are looking at my blog quite regulary. My apologies to all 06A01.

Anyway its not these minor things that made me upset. I didn't wanted to blog today, but after reading Freddy's blog made me so unhappy that i decided to use all of my energy and strength to write something out.

I was quite shocked that Freddy posted this entry. I feel like i'm a dirt. Since, he really wanted a apology so much, I gonna say it once again. SORRY FREDDY. Yeah, I'm being so ungentlement for not apologising, and i deserved to be flamed by him in his blog. I didn't really he would make a big fuss out of it, I expect that his maturity level will made him be more thoughtful and spare about my thoughts. I was already sick and unhappy and he agitated me even further. Maybe i'm wrong about judging his character, i really thought that it was such a trival matter. Looking at the way he way he blow up this matter. I have changed my perception towards him. I know that the friends i had will not raise up this thing, so i'm sure that Freddy is the first one.

Conclusion: He has not been treating mi as a friend all along. Well Freddy, u don't to comfort yrself to tell how sucky i am to you. Yeah, I am always un ungentlemen to you. You do not need to force yourself to control your anger just because of me and so u can carry on being as my friend. Thats not friends are made for. Now I know that all these while u have not been treating me as your friend and u are forcing yourself to treat you as your friend. You can just treat me as invisible in the class. You can just forget about my existence in the class. Yeah, let go of me, I don't wanna to carry on an endless debate with you. I'm so tired of it. Because...

I don't need your sympathy.

I don't need you to make yrself suffer for me as your friend.

I don't mind having one less friend.

_____________________________________________________
The Unhappy Moments.
so come on, tell me.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006 @ 10:37 PM:
What a hectic day.

I don wanna come to school today, i'm so sick. I am having this cough since 2 days before and my mucus just keep flowing non stop like a tap water. Too bad, this is how my parents are, since young i have been attending school even though i'm sick as i'm so being forced. I also don wanna spread my flu to my classmates, i have been trying not to. Hope that everyone in the class still remains healthy.

I don't really wanna talk in class.

Papers and results just keep flowing to me, i have recieved good ones as well as bad ones. Good thing is that i'm currently passing all my H2 subjects. I didn't expect myself to pass econs. I merely studied only the night before as i already had the intention to forgo econs for my other subjects. I don't really deserve that grade, maybe Lord has been helping me all these while. Thank You. The bad ones are i am currently failing all my H1 subjects except GP. Well expected, my chinese was so flunked. I can't even understand a single passage. My standard is just like a sec 2 chinese student. I have been grasping hard onto chinese since then. I don't think i can do well for my As. I'm just letting nature take its course, whether i'm predestined to pass or fail my chinese. Maths, I been flunking it always. Hopeless me.

Class today was filled with ups and downs. Everyone is trying to get their ass promoted, everyone is been studying or mugging hard for their subjects. But there are still bounded to have setbacks. Its terrible to see yrself studying hard and looking at yr efforts go into vain as shown by your results. Well, all i can say is that try harder, the mentality is there already. So people who feel that they had done badly don't feel so upset, i'm sure all of your efforts will pay off one day. Jiayou class! I really wan to see the everyone promote up to J2. This class is already getting smaller and smaller, I pray that no one will leave 06A01 next year.

I'm so terribly sick today. Most of the time i have been keeping quiet and listening to people around. The only noises i made was my coughing and sneezing. I think i have sneeze about 50 times in school, using up to 2 packets of tissue. Thx jack and hui x2 for the tissue. =)

Chinese class was such a boring day. I was quite upset about my chinese results, looking at my paper 2 pulling my results all the way from grade B to a fail. I am feeling so tired and lethargic. I dragged my chair quite a few times in class. I know that everyone is feeling irritated by the high pitch voices, especially Freddy due to his sensitive ears. He demanded for a apology and i didn't give him. I can't just speak out then. My nose was already red with mucus flowing and my coughing made me panted a lot in school, my tiredness made me just ignore what freddy has said. I know thats a selfish reason of mine not to apologise for people who are waiting for my apology. Well i know that some of my classmates are looking at my blog quite regulary. My apologies to all 06A01.

Anyway its not these minor things that made me upset. I didn't wanted to blog today, but after reading Freddy's blog made me so unhappy that i decided to use all of my energy and strength to write something out.

I was quite shocked that Freddy posted this entry. I feel like i'm a dirt. Since, he really wanted a apology so much, I gonna say it once again. SORRY FREDDY. Yeah, I'm being so ungentlement for not apologising, and i deserved to be flamed by him in his blog. I didn't really he would make a big fuss out of it, I expect that his maturity level will made him be more thoughtful and spare about my thoughts. I was already sick and unhappy and he agitated me even further. Maybe i'm wrong about judging his character, i really thought that it was such a trival matter. Looking at the way he way he blow up this matter. I have changed my perception towards him. I know that the friends i had will not raise up this thing, so i'm sure that Freddy is the first one.
Conclusion: He has not been treating mi as a friend all along.

Well Freddy, u don't to comfort yrself to tell how sucky i am to you. Yeah, I am always un ungentlemen to you. You do not need to force yourself to control your anger just because of me and so u can carry on being as my friend. Thats not friends are made for. Now I know that all these while u have not been treating me as your friend and u are forcing yourself to treat you as your friend. You can just treat me as invisible in the class. You can just forget about my existence in the class. Yeah, let go of me, I don't wanna to carry on an endless debate with you. I'm so tired of it. Because...

I don't need your sympathy.
I don't need you to make yrself suffer for me as your friend.
I don't mind having one less friend.

For Esther, I don't know whats going on with your emotions or yr feelings. I didn't know for what reasons you are unhappy with me. I didn't even know that there is a Cold War between you and me. I just don't wanna talk to you cause u are very talkative in class and i want quiet and peace for myself as I wanna be alone in the class for a while. Anyway i don't really care now.
You can be like Freddy too. I myself also don wan u to force yrself to be my friend. Well Sharon has told me everything about that. You do not need to use me as a decision to go for Sharon's church camp if you don't like my presence around. Yea, you can go for the camp peacefully without me as I won't be going. I don wan to disrupt both you and Sharon friendship just because of me. Let me go, I'm sure you will feel better.

Well maybe i have offended so many of my classmates since i came in JJ, I don't even know myself that. I admitted that class 06A01 has brought me many happy moments and memories, but this class also brought me deep regrets and misery that I won't be able to forget it for the rest of my life. Blame myself all for that. I have lost of sense of belonging in the class long ago. I blame myself for being retarded and stupid. I like to keep myself apart of the class sometimes and stone myself at one corner. No one really understands me. Maybe poly is really the choice for me. But I suppose its too late now. Time won't wait for people, nor time won't rewind back for them.

I'm really feeling sick now. I don't wanna go school tml. But I wanna go for training tml... coach is coming. Oh and there is pw tml too. What a dilemma.


_____________________________________________________
The Unhappy Moments.
so come on, tell me.
Monday, October 09, 2006 @ 2:08 AM:
Here I am blogging again.

Well, look at the time. Its quite early huh. I'm suppose to blog earlier but got caught up playing dota with Ban,Alex and Urnest.

Have been to marina square for the past 2 days. Yea nothing better to do, was suppose to go parklane for dota but things just keep getting messed up. The haze was so bad ytd, feel like i am genting highlands, just that the mist was being substitute by haze. Oh crap. I gonna add more stuffs into my shopping list, think i should bar myself from going town everyday. Well these days there don't seems to have this pool trend anymore. People do not like to play pool anymore and my skills are still rusty as ever for not playing pool more than 3 months.

Today went to MS again. 3 continuous day of msing(not maplestory), this time with rq and mh. Ironically, im just seeming more things to buy anyway. So we got out of the place asap and went to watch SuperStar audition in Suntec city. Well, there were no good ones when we reach, expect for Jeremy who sang some Jay Chou song which I felt it was splendid. Hope he gets in the finals. Our 3rd destination was Bugis. Basically we did nothing over there, just went there to have McDonalds for dinner. 4th destination, VIVO CITY! The place overall was damn cool! I feel just like i'm on a Star Cruise. Saw some of J2 students over there too... lol A levels is just around 20 days away and they can still slack around and enjoy urban life. Saw Kian Teon and Kian Wee over there too. Anyway the vivo sky garden scenary is damn cool, especially during the nite! Too nice until i cant describe it, u have to see for it yrself. I gonna bring my future girl over there next time. XD

Yea sorry rq and mh for being so kuai lan to take bus 188 home making rq almost vomit. Sorry class 06A01 for not attending the class gathering in Boon Lay, it was quite late anyway... No point for me to travel all the way there when i gonna reach there at 9+.




To someone:
Hmm. I really don't know whats the boundary that is that make us keep moving apart. Anyway I am not trying to avoid you, maybe that we just have our own different social circle and friendship may just drift apart without knowing. Yes I understand the limitations of our friendship. Its not that i don't wan to reveal things to you cause I feel that you are not close to me. Its just that I feel that I don wanna make my problems a burden to you and i rather share it with someone who can understands me much better. We may not known for even a year, but I am sure that the friendship we had already last more than a year, even till now. Maybe everyone is busying dealing with their own work that we forgot about the people around us. I really appreciate the friendship u had for me over this few months. Anyway lets not bother about these things and go out and play together some day. =)
so come on, tell me.
Saturday, October 07, 2006 @ 2:36 AM:
Yeah!

Its holiday! After all these hard work, "hard work" i suppose ( didn't put in any effort for any ppr except geo), promos are finally over! Been trying to mug lyk a dog during those days, but end up playing. Ground myself from going out and touching the com, but still end up talking on phone. Yeah, I even felt sick during the promos. Haha, i doubt anyone in my class knows anything about that. I even had an MC prepared for my geo paper. Well, in the end I still came for the paper. Total ownage.

Oh, my apologises to 2 people, 1st is my kor.
Sorry for overslept last sun and nv pei u buy birthday present for yr darling. 2nd is denise for making u wait alone in the lib alone last mon coz i'm sick. U must have been waiting like a spastic child during that day. Ke lian. Next time pei chang both of u.

Woot! I'm so glad that my ouap trip did not clash with the class chalet! Phew, the dates were so close, chalet(23th-25th) and the ouap(26th-4th). So its double fun for me for the whole period!

Haven't been blogging for nearly a week. Can see that my blog is gonna rot soon. Gonna try and update more often!

Lets talk about songs. Hmm. Jesse Cartney is currently owning the rest of my songs. His new album "Right Where You Want Me" is nice. Don't miss it. Don't also forget to catch Evanescence too. Her songs are woohoo!

Today's training was sick. Run outside the whole canal which was near 4km estimated. Well, almost had to give up man, especially when you have not been training and eatting a lot over the last month.

The class outings doesn't always seems like to be a class outing. Things are quite unplanned. Girls and guys have their own way. People not going for outings. Haix expected. Didn't really want to go for the outing. I'm so tired after the training and i have agreed to go out with my friends on that day. Well, sad thing is that i pangseh them and went for the class outing. Haha, the outing was just too sian till something that happened that really make me not regret going for the outing.

Highlight of the outing
Well, me, hoe han and weijian was eating at carls jr at MS for dinner. We were sitting opposite of a group of girls. Ah soon was fascinated in one of those girl wearing this farmer strap clothing. Quite style lahz. Ah soon say that she so chio and got a lot of rou, but shes not fat in fact. Sad thing is that her back was facing us. So ah soon keep refilling our cups and sauces i catch a glimpse of her face. Each time he looked at her he feels so high. (lol, wtf?!). Then jerome and jack came and we start rehearsing ah soon how to get her phone no. Hoe han offered to help him ask but ah soon say don wan let the girls see their face. He keep delaying till the girls ate finish and walk off. We had to stalk the group of girls all the way to the toilet(make me pang seh my free flow drink), when ah soon start to hum and back out. Then end up 4 of us approach the girl and ask her for her no. , with hoe han leading, while ah soon went hiding (I wont tell u where he hide later he scold mi). Anyway we failed to get her number, she was too shy and unprepared, but we got her msn. o.O Alicia Lim. Ah soon has got a good catch! We help him up to this stage, now the rest is all up to him. Good luck ah soon!





Oh life sucks man, but i still have to go on with life.
____________________________________________
Making everyday a holiday.
so come on, tell me.
Sunday, October 01, 2006 @ 1:34 AM:
What a boring life.

Nothing to blog about these days. Everything has got to do with study. Study is boring. I wanna live in utopia, i wanna quit studying. I don't care, i gonna foreward the time and plan what to do after promos. Oh, don't bother about PW and Chinese, i just need a break.

Things I gonna do after promos:

1. Sleep. ( I need energy to party)

2. Shop. (Unlimited wants, limited money)

3. Gaming. (Hardcore dota with fuhua peeps!)

4. Pool. (Rusty, gonna brush up my skills)

5. All sorts of outings. (Waiting for u ppl to organise)

And many many more. Cant think of anything now. I'm too tired.

Oh btw, Happy Children's Day.

____________________________________________________________
Fk off hypocrites. Get lost from my sight.
so come on, tell me.
Reach my prismic soul.
I AM
Nick/Nigger/Nichlause/Nicole/SantaNic
19.12.89

19

one89sg@msn.com
ex-josephian
ex-lasallian
ex-dunearnite
ex-jjcian

A proud member of 06A01.
Life sucks, for who i am.

Dreams that are unreachable,
when will they come true?
My fears...
Get rid of them all.

 

Unconditional Desires.
Get in uni, before i kill myself.
Taller, like the trees are.
Shooting stars, just like the everyday sunrise.
More time to spend, it's limited.
Rich, enough to spend all my wants.
Happiness.

The endless connections.
ahjing ahying ashley chinglee denise edmund eileen emily esther freddy guanzhou jack minghao jerome qiaoxuan ruiqin sabrina sayhoe serkee sharon shawn shirley suanwoo val weijian wenyan xiaoqian xiuhui gabriel clara teo clara chua jessie shangzhi phebe weiru jessie toh andy hweeying xueer

Mix the words up.
Nah, no tagboard. Perhaps some other day.

It took time to see.
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
January 2010

You have my thanks.
Blogskin created by Eclair-x.
Editted by myself.