What a hectic day.

I don wanna come to school today, i'm so sick. I am having this cough since 2 days before and my mucus just keep flowing non stop like a tap water. Too bad, this is how my parents are, since young i have been attending school even though i'm sick as i'm so being forced. I also don wanna spread my flu to my classmates, i have been trying not to. Hope that everyone in the class still remains healthy.

I don't really wanna talk in class.

Papers and results just keep flowing to me, i have recieved good ones as well as bad ones. Good thing is that i'm currently passing all my H2 subjects. I didn't expect myself to pass econs. I merely studied only the night before as i already had the intention to forgo econs for my other subjects. I don't really deserve that grade, maybe Lord has been helping me all these while. Thank You. The bad ones are i am currently failing all my H1 subjects except GP. Well expected, my chinese was so flunked. I can't even understand a single passage. My standard is just like a sec 2 chinese student. I have been grasping hard onto chinese since then. I don't think i can do well for my As. I'm just letting nature take its course, whether i'm predestined to pass or fail my chinese. Maths, I been flunking it always. Hopeless me.

Class today was filled with ups and downs. Everyone is trying to get their ass promoted, everyone is been studying or mugging hard for their subjects. But there are still bounded to have setbacks. Its terrible to see yrself studying hard and looking at yr efforts go into vain as shown by your results. Well, all i can say is that try harder, the mentality is there already. So people who feel that they had done badly don't feel so upset, i'm sure all of your efforts will pay off one day. Jiayou class! I really wan to see the everyone promote up to J2. This class is already getting smaller and smaller, I pray that no one will leave 06A01 next year.

I'm so terribly sick today. Most of the time i have been keeping quiet and listening to people around. The only noises i made was my coughing and sneezing. I think i have sneeze about 50 times in school, using up to 2 packets of tissue. Thx jack and hui x2 for the tissue. =)

Chinese class was such a boring day. I was quite upset about my chinese results, looking at my paper 2 pulling my results all the way from grade B to a fail. I am feeling so tired and lethargic. I dragged my chair quite a few times in class. I know that everyone is feeling irritated by the high pitch voices, especially Freddy due to his sensitive ears. He demanded for a apology and i didn't give him. I can't just speak out then. My nose was already red with mucus flowing and my coughing made me panted a lot in school, my tiredness made me just ignore what freddy has said. I know thats a selfish reason of mine not to apologise for people who are waiting for my apology. Well i know that some of my classmates are looking at my blog quite regulary. My apologies to all 06A01.

Anyway its not these minor things that made me upset. I didn't wanted to blog today, but after reading Freddy's blog made me so unhappy that i decided to use all of my energy and strength to write something out.

I was quite shocked that Freddy posted this entry. I feel like i'm a dirt. Since, he really wanted a apology so much, I gonna say it once again. SORRY FREDDY. Yeah, I'm being so ungentlement for not apologising, and i deserved to be flamed by him in his blog. I didn't really he would make a big fuss out of it, I expect that his maturity level will made him be more thoughtful and spare about my thoughts. I was already sick and unhappy and he agitated me even further. Maybe i'm wrong about judging his character, i really thought that it was such a trival matter. Looking at the way he way he blow up this matter. I have changed my perception towards him. I know that the friends i had will not raise up this thing, so i'm sure that Freddy is the first one.
Conclusion: He has not been treating mi as a friend all along.

Well Freddy, u don't to comfort yrself to tell how sucky i am to you. Yeah, I am always un ungentlemen to you. You do not need to force yourself to control your anger just because of me and so u can carry on being as my friend. Thats not friends are made for. Now I know that all these while u have not been treating me as your friend and u are forcing yourself to treat you as your friend. You can just treat me as invisible in the class. You can just forget about my existence in the class. Yeah, let go of me, I don't wanna to carry on an endless debate with you. I'm so tired of it. Because...

I don't need your sympathy.
I don't need you to make yrself suffer for me as your friend.
I don't mind having one less friend.

For Esther, I don't know whats going on with your emotions or yr feelings. I didn't know for what reasons you are unhappy with me. I didn't even know that there is a Cold War between you and me. I just don't wanna talk to you cause u are very talkative in class and i want quiet and peace for myself as I wanna be alone in the class for a while. Anyway i don't really care now.
You can be like Freddy too. I myself also don wan u to force yrself to be my friend. Well Sharon has told me everything about that. You do not need to use me as a decision to go for Sharon's church camp if you don't like my presence around. Yea, you can go for the camp peacefully without me as I won't be going. I don wan to disrupt both you and Sharon friendship just because of me. Let me go, I'm sure you will feel better.

Well maybe i have offended so many of my classmates since i came in JJ, I don't even know myself that. I admitted that class 06A01 has brought me many happy moments and memories, but this class also brought me deep regrets and misery that I won't be able to forget it for the rest of my life. Blame myself all for that. I have lost of sense of belonging in the class long ago. I blame myself for being retarded and stupid. I like to keep myself apart of the class sometimes and stone myself at one corner. No one really understands me. Maybe poly is really the choice for me. But I suppose its too late now. Time won't wait for people, nor time won't rewind back for them.

I'm really feeling sick now. I don't wanna go school tml. But I wanna go for training tml... coach is coming. Oh and there is pw tml too. What a dilemma.


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The Unhappy Moments.

so come on, tell me.