Tml's gonna be a sinful day. Coz we are gonna play all day for our class outing.~ The guys of 06A01 will pon school tml and sing at MS, and then slack around till the night falls. I will even be tonning later, which makes me feel even tired, i suppose. So tml i won't be going back to my sec school, even though i feels like gg back to get a look, and i haven't been there for around a year.

Shrugs, there's gonna be another night market in this school. Almost every 3 months there will always be a night market just downstairs of my blk. And this makes the place so dirty and noisy in the night. Fcuk, how am i gonna study for my prelims.

Hate maths.

so come on, tell me.

This is getting terrible. Started on my statistics ytd which i havn't been touching since the past 2 months. And i realised that i can't even do my concepts well. What deep shit am i landing into nowadays. I have been losing my concepts and skills so easily since this yaer. And worse, my memory is really failing me. Wonder whether if i still can make it for the coming exams, i'm losing my motivation, my hope.

Friday is the last day of the term, which is teacher's day celebration, which is acus day too. And i'm not coming for any of them. Or rather, this friday will be the "last" class outing in our sch term i suppose. And everyone won't be free after that. After all, the 2 years of jc life is just gonna fly pass so soon. Nevertheless, it comes with a opportunity cost, and i don't feel good at all...

If i can have a choice...

so come on, tell me.

The last week of sch le, which means study break is coming soon, and after that prelims. Yet this last week we still have tons of assignment and hw yet to be completed, not to say the time to revise my work. To make matters worst, my memory strength is getting weaker.

So now i'm just awaiting for the worse.

And i can't even have a peaceful rest when i get back home lahz, the concert downstairs is so noisy.

what to do.

so come on, tell me.

This is the 5th time in the week that i had fallen aslp while doing my work. Everyday i have been fighting wif my fatigue and slping around 3-4 hrs a day. What a hard time.

Went the out the whole day, spent some tym in the esplanade lib studying and reading notes. Crap lahz, the glaring sun was shining directly at me and i can't study with the whole sun practically shining on my face and the notes. But after some time, they put the shutter down so it was much better. Why can't they do it earlier.

Met up wif sharon, esther and hwee ying at vivo where we had dinner at superdog. The fish and chips was so little and the price for it was quite expensive too. I could have ate 3 plates of chicken rice for that price too. Had to ps them after that, felt bad.

Been having a dilemma a whole day, parents wanted to book the flight at 27th nov, and the tentative date for prom night was 28th nov. Can't get them to book at dec, and i have only one choice, Overseas or Prom night.

I thought she would turn back.

so come on, tell me.

Another week just flew by, and there's ard 2 weeks more to prelim, and in another few mths time my life of jc should end. I feel that i'm not prepared for my prelims, after all thats what comes out from procastinating. Argh, make me feel like quiting sch sometimes.

I only can do 2 freaking pull-ups now. It wasn't lyk that in the past, I can't at least do up to 7 in my secondary sch days. Just what has happen to me.

The last of tml, perhaps.

so come on, tell me.

Spent the whole day in lib today. Was damn freaking tired after the geo talk, i slpt during the Q&A section. But still i managed to preservere in the lib. Was suppose to join someone, but unfortunately that person "pangseh" me, so i was alone in the library. But still, there were still some friends around and especially gabriel whom i can disturb him. So me and gabriel were the last survivors in the library while we studied and fool around. Sally smuggled back to sch lib again at 9+ to pass me herbal tea, which was suppose to in the afternoon. Haha, thats so nice of her to come back to sch to pass her friends herbal tea even though shes not in jj anymore.

so come on, tell me.

The days when computer can't even entertain me anymore.
Crap.
Project HCS, wonder if i can make it.
I'm tired of schooling.

The awkardness.

so come on, tell me.

Argh, slacking in home for the past wkend when i should be studying for my coming mock test. Guess that i wont be able to write down anything much tml. 3 more weeks to prelims, wonder what should i do wif this 3 weeks man. Enough of procastinating Nicholas, wake up.

Ok, my daily routine will be changed a bit since i will be changing my plans for the weeks ahead of me. And i need some time to get used to it too. Hope that this will be the best for me, though the time spent wif friends as well as d is so little now.

Happy birthday Darryl!

The route to psychopath.

so come on, tell me.

Haha, finally got a chance to view the fireworks at the floating platform after watching this year's fireworks preview and ndp for 3 times. Went out wif my parents to catch the fireworks, where we had gotten the free tickets for today's preview. I thought that my sis knows how to use the new cam, but i didn't know shes still a noob while i haven touch that new cam yet since it was bought few mths ago. So i was practically a noob too as i was trying to figure out how to operate the new cam on the platform. And the pictures that came out was so screwed. No one would had figure out that the pictures taken were fireworks. Anyway the fireworks was quite long, though it wasn't that fantastic compare to the ndp. But still, it's splendid.

so come on, tell me.

One's tolerance is just a limited capacity. Its just like a cup of water, once the brim is full, it' full, and when anything more is added in it, it's over. I swear that whatever ytd was just the brim, and i just blow up when i's further agitated. Yes, it's a hard one this time, whatever things that has accumulated inside me for the past mths, it's just blows up like a bomb.

Yes, i admitted that it was just an act of rashness and deep frustration made me typed those stuffs ytd. But no matter how many things that person did, i should had kept it personal.

Right and wrong. I am not dictating an answer for what i give. But overall, it's all up to the mass to judge me whether i'm right or wrong. I just wanna give myself and explanation for what i did all the time, and i didn't concluded that what i say was rite. I don't even have the ability to force people to believe what i say in the actual fact for i'm just not the person with that character.

Things that had happened around me all the time in sch, i chose to pretend nth had happened. The hurtful feeling that that stabbed right deep into my heart, i chose to remain silent. I knew i was not as strong as than the rest, even though i remain strong in the faces of people, yet inside it's bleeding. I broke down sometimes, and some of them had seen it that time.

Sometimes i really wanna be a tyrant and instill fear inside the rest of the people, so that they can't even have the chance to retaliate, but in reality, but in the actual fact i'm just at the opposite end. People keep telling me that in reality, the world is cruel and one must be harsh so that people will not take advantage of you. I know, but how the hell am i gonna do it when i just can't do it.

I have my own right to laugh at what my friends made or commented, but seems that i'm always the one being targeted among ALL of the people because i was claimed to have that evil laugh. Weird, haha. Can't i have the right to laugh at what my friends had say? I may be involved or even a part of it, or a catalyst to it, but why me? Because i'm yr close friend? Or is it i'm just simply nice to be bullied? I don't wanna give an answer for myself or forcing anyone an answer, for people who know me know it.

I have been named an exfriend ytd, and i had to pretend that nth had happened ytd. How can i just take it lying down? Or all along i have not been taken as a friend for? I'm a true fake after all. Does a close friend had to shoulder all the laughter and blames for whatever that happened in sch? Or am i just yr venting machine after all.

Perhaps i don't really understand you after all. It's true that you told me quite a lot of things. But things told by you were just merely what happened during yr days of life, it's pretty vague. There's more to know about someone deep down inside that makes people so complicated and emo, doing mood swings this and that, and seriously i don't know anything. And for me, i'm an pure introvert.

Misunderstood all this while.

so come on, tell me.

So busy and tired with schoolwork, but should continue actively updating my blog regularly coz this is the only thing that i will do nowadays. I need i seriously need to cut down my spending on food, coz it's taking up 70% portion of my pocket money, and needless to say i still have so much things to spend on. Still haven settle down and study yet, wonder when will be the time i'm gonna do that. But the endless hw and test is giving me hell sometimes. Eff up with sch nowadays.

Wonder how i be if i'm a fake.

so come on, tell me.

What a long weekend. But been playing a lot over these 5 days. Guess i won't have any such long weekends other than the sept holidays, or i should say my study break. My mouse is kinda spoilt, the sensor don't seem to sense any movement. Gotta find a new mouse before it spoils.

And to make this worse, my ear piece i had with me for 2 years is spoilt. Been using my sis earpiece all these while, and i had to get a new one quick too. Saw a earpiece in the samsung shop at vivo for only $29.90! And the earpiece has ear-surround+bass effects. So cheap, but i still can't afford it...

Things that you don't wanna lose.

so come on, tell me.

Been lazy to blog these few days. Anyway i still gonna type everything before i start to forget them.

Ytd went out with edmund for Ben & Jerry. Didn't know that the ice-cream there was not so cheap after all. 6+1 scoops of ice-cream was like... wow. Anyway i managed to exploit him once again, but i still managed to fork out some part of my share, haha. Keep crapping like shit, the story of "Han Ge" and "Ning Ning" was hot on the topic. Just realised that there are still many clothing that i felt so tempted to buy. Nevertheless, im still broke after all. Had another fill at taiwan shilin, i think i gonna be even sick after eating that.

Had to accompany him while we were waiting to see Ms Tan and his scandal. Ms Tan started snarling at me the moment she see me lahz. And she was jumping and squeking like a little "ah lian" which i can't helped myself from laughing to see a teacher doing outside. Seems that Ms Tan is closer to class S13 rather than ours even though she was our civics tutor, as we didn't even had her out with us as we have our own class outings. Perhaps we didn't make this effort to bond with her while other class did...

Had to accompanied him again till his class comes back from sentosa, by the time it was alrdy 8pm and there's no time for me to join shawn at val at BPP starbucks. Haix.

Went out to bugis lib to study today. But i guess i don't even have the feel to study over there somehow. Still i have to force myself to study a bit too, haha. So unproductive. Had to leave early, though i don't wish to.

Happy birthday mum!
Didn't went out to eat, but parent bought a whole lot of food back home. Just can't stop eatting, i think my stomach gonna grow even bigger.

Life and Death, it's unpredictable.
My condolences.

so come on, tell me.

Happy birthday Singapore.

The parade today must be fabulous la, but too bad i didn't got the tickets to watch. Went out wif rq and gang to cine, where we wasted 2 fricking hrs using com and practically doing nth. Then rush off to city hall and tried to squeeze thru the crowd to esplanade. So hot and sticky trying to move little steps, people pushing you and stepping on your shoes. The banglas, especially, kept pushing and shouting like no one's business, and the malays starting screaming, singing, and shouting racist remarks at these banglas. Anyway these banglas really got nth better to do, got holiday for them to rest yet they still come here and disturb us during our festival.

So we got sick being stuck in the crowded with so many sweaty and stinking ppl around us, and we wriggled out way out and managed to reach ms on time before the fireworks start. Can't get back on train as it's too crowded, wait for gz while chilling at suntec. And then walk all the way to Cathay to take 190 because i can't take 700 or 960. It takes only 30 mins to reach there, but we were walking for the past few hrs and i think i had a blister on my foot.

Could had reached back home early, but ended up waiting with mh for 2 bus before gg back.

TIRED.

An awkard feeling back home.

so come on, tell me.

Never been treated that cold before.

so come on, tell me.

Still decided to go to sch today even though i had the today's MC. Trying to be attentive while feeling drowsy so ardous after taking my medicine before going to sch. Late lessons as usual, went home with her after that. Anyway sch's half day tml, still deciding whether i should go to sch given my condition now.

Man, dono how should i spent my time for this week.

Will there ever be peace?

so come on, tell me.

Seems like i still have not recover from my sickness from the past 2 days. I feel that i have been eating the wrg food these days hence i have not been recovering. This morning ate rasa sayang even i feel that i shouldn't be eating that, though in the afternoon i had fish soup. The variety of the foods in the canteen are too little bah, i supposed, or maybe i'm too fussy due to my urge for food these days.

Anyway seen a doctor a while ago and the doctor gave me a 1 day mc. Still deciding whether i should go for sch tml... Btw the autosave mode in the new blogger is very good as it saved my entries a few times alrdy.

so come on, tell me.

Went to celebrate my grandma's birthday ytd. Had dinner at lemongrass, a thai restaurant, somewhere around buona vista. It's a damn ulu place as we need to drive thru some forested area in other to reach there, but nevertheless the place is still filled with so much customers. The food was not really that nice anyway, other than tomyum and other spicy stuffs, and the service is good.

Man, my sickness is getting worse and worse each day.
Just no mood to do anything for today.

So ill.

so come on, tell me.

A moment at clerk quey.

so come on, tell me.

School ends at 9.30am after my tca4 had ended. Had to wait till 11.30 till the j1s ended their common test so we can sneak out with them. Bumped into my j1 chinese teacher Mrs Lim at the canteen, and the 1st sentence she said to me was "Nicholas, you seemed to have grown fatter!" =.= Was it so obvious that i have grown fatter? Bleh.

Awaiting.

so come on, tell me.

Just had econs test and geo test ytd. And now there is still TCA4 tml. Argh, when will these tests ever go away.

If I can be perfect for you.

so come on, tell me.