Future beholds nothing

2010-01-21T18:28:00.002+08:00

Alright, i gotta admit my blog has died long ago. But I'm not going to use blogspot anymore. Probably will change to livejournal soon. Cya blogspot!

2009-10-02T17:02:00.002+08:00

No words of gratitude. Being the greatest means u gotta bear all the responsibility. What doesn't concerns you will eventually be part of you. I wish i had a pigeon to send all these shitty problems away.

2009-09-20T16:41:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i don't understand if the ppl around me are my friends or companions.

2009-09-18T00:57:00.002+08:00

Woo~! so glad that all shitty stuffs in camp are over FOR NOW. finally I'm able to get some rest and peace myself out from this stupid camp. 6 days of off! Wah lao, this will probably be the one and only time i will have such long days of OFF-ssss.

Everyone's effort paid off. Well done platoon 2.

2009-09-12T20:38:00.002+08:00

2 more days to ex. praxis. Hopefully the time is more than enough to get my settle myself for that. It's gonna be a hell lot busy and hectic week ever in my service. Anything goes wrg and i'll be the 1st to get screwed. Just keep my fingers crossed and make this a smooth one.

2009-09-09T21:57:00.002+08:00

Yes, i finally know the truth behind all. To overcome my own weakness.

2009-09-08T20:48:00.002+08:00

Wheet! my 1st try on sashimi! Tastes so weird and different.. Cooked food is always the best ! =)

2009-09-08T20:48:00.000+08:00

Wheet! my 1st try on shashimi! Tastes so weird and different.. Cooked food is always the best ! =)

2009-09-08T10:56:00.003+08:00

People whom don't even wan to listen, fine. Create more trouble and yet not giving any shit about it, u pissed me off. You are just a total disappointment among the rest.

Never expect too much from someone u trust.

2009-09-07T19:06:00.002+08:00

some times i wonder. is it really worth to put in so much effort for ns? what do i get in return? i dont even see any recognition other than the growing expectations from ppl each time. ns unknowingly changes my life into a living robot. can i just quit?

2009-09-03T20:34:00.000+08:00

Can i run? Can i just leave?
I'm just not meant to be one.

2009-08-26T20:06:00.002+08:00

I'm so tired of NS now. I see so many problems popping out everywhere yet i can't even handle them or solve them anymore. And these things are just like bubbles getting bigger and bigger, squeezing me to death. Sometimes i don't even know what's my existence for.

2009-08-23T23:16:00.003+08:00

I must be evil, before i lose out and suffer.

2009-08-23T00:36:00.001+08:00

Fuck, just when i need someone to talk to, he was busy with his psp.

2009-08-20T22:51:00.002+08:00

I don't belong to anywhere afterall. Just pray that i can get out of this pithole and leave the place for good.

2009-08-06T22:30:00.001+08:00

People won't understand the shit you are going through, people only understand how SHIT you are if they can't go home.

2009-08-06T22:14:00.002+08:00

It's really crazy and tiring to have people coming to you just to ask you, "What is the next program?" ,"What time are we booking out?", or better "Are we staying in?"

Sometimes it's so damn obvious to tell if people is giving you attitude problems, rude, uncooperative, badmouthing yet claims to have a good reason behind this. I still had to crawl like a dog and reach out my hand, yet what i had gotten back is totally shit.

2009-07-26T20:28:00.000+08:00

Seriously how bored can life be nowadays.

2009-07-25T13:38:00.001+08:00

Looking at the disgusting side of my unit, i just hope that i can ord soon.

2009-07-15T18:28:00.002+08:00

Oh shucks, why must have i fever just before mounting! I don't wan to be seen as a chao geng person, nor i want to qie gary song to do my duty...

Guilt.

2009-06-25T23:42:00.000+08:00

Stress+famine = GG for my stomach.

2009-06-22T01:29:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i wish i have an affinity with everyone.

2009-06-17T19:48:00.002+08:00

Ahh, felt so sinful after having a buffet on such a random day. I thought i would never have buffet for the time being but since everyone really wants it so i just followed along. The food and services there were nice, but it was just simply too much PORK to eat! Though i really dislike eating pork but it was really nice till the point where i didn't know what was i eating cause all of them taste almost alike, haha. Afterall, i still wasn't prepared for buffet with an empty stomach, so it's still boh hua!

On the other hand, I got this feeling that i won't to mbe respected by people anymore in camp soon. It's really hard to get things done if i don't kp ppl, even though i tried to keep it to the minimum. I lack the ability to get people to listen and to do things, perhaps i don't have the charisma or some power to get people attention. Most of the times i say something i feel like i'm talking to myself. Being called slacker when i'm not around with them. Being criticise for mistakes i made. Haix, i'm lacking of confidence to continue on.

2009-06-14T20:01:00.002+08:00

Heh, retail therapy? not really. LOL I really did walk around every places, every corner, searching for something that i really like. Perhaps me myself is the real problem for being too fussy after all. But i don't care whether am i really one cause i don't wan to make any rash moment to buy something that i may have regret after spending, which i had alrdy done MANY MANY times. Walking all over orchard to city hall is quite tiring, yeah, and i think i had alrdy gotten used to it. >< Well, my mp3 is still not done yet. i can't bear to fork out another 400 bucks on an ipod. gah, even if i really buy one from the past few days i also wouldn't bother uploading the songs inside. So just wait again, i supposed.

2009-06-12T01:09:00.001+08:00

Oh shit, tml's the day. Gotta experience the fear of being poked again.

2009-06-02T21:39:00.000+08:00

So what does it takes to define a friend? Disappointed, i am.

2009-06-02T00:25:00.003+08:00

I don't understand, why must someone who sees a non existing problem, bring unhappiness to everyone?

2009-05-29T21:09:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh, it's really been a while since i last update and i supposed that everyone has alrdy stopped tracking my blog. Well now it's better as this blog will "so call" become my personal blog again.

K 1st thing. Great Singapore Sale is near. Things i'm supposed to do.
-Get a UOB debit card asap ( hopefully this card can be made better to use as compared to my posb debit which i had not even touched them yet =X)
- Get a new computer, i desperately need one ( haha, surfing on net is frustrating enough, listening to music just hang sometimes, not to say gaming -.-)
-Get a new ipod( seriously i have been stoning a lot these days on my way to camp, damn super boring trip especially if there is no seat for me to seat. Looking at the stupid aunties fighting for seats really pisses me off.)
-Saving up, of cause. I promised myself i would really spent on clothing these time. I still remember the time i presented the bmoi project during sslc. But even now i myself have problems saving up. Is it because of the spec mess? Or ordering mac? Couldn't be, i always make it a point to be thrifty on food. Spec mess don't really costs that much too i suppose?

Haix, talking about my friends. I admit i really suck holding my friendship with all of my friends. I have drifted away with countless of friends alrdy and even till now i have some problems yet i don't know how to resolve. I myself don't wanna think too much nor thinking about what the other party is thinking. I suppose just let nature takes it course. I even see friend around me changing so drastically, turning desperate lusting for girls in facebook. For that it really disgusts me. I won't be suprise if hes still unattached years down the road, but i hope he will change for the better.

And there goes more challenges up ahead...

2009-05-18T01:17:00.001+08:00

There's no sweet memories, so how do you sleep?

2009-05-06T23:16:00.003+08:00

ARGH. FUK. Just a few webpages and chat boxes and my computer hang and jam for like so long and i have to wait and wait for the fking things to load finish before i can continue doing my things ARGH. I need a new computer badly! And dammit recently taking train to camp is so so fking bored without a mp3 to listen what the hell la everyday just stone stone in the mrt for more than an hr is so so sickening. My Damn damn damn phone just refuses to send out messages properly and i have to check out my messages in drafts frequently and to resent it out. what a stupid phone! And lastly, I'm again being offered economics in ntu! fuck! they might as well reject me then to offered me back the freaking course back. TA MADE.

2009-05-04T09:34:00.003+08:00

Just when i step out of my house to go for a morning run, it RAINED.

2009-05-03T02:37:00.002+08:00

Man, i realised that it's so hard to make plans during the booking out times, especially just after dismount... I feel that the 7d mounting makes me so used to just staying in that i don't really bother what i really wanna do outside. Well great. Now i guess i really gotta stay at home and stone at my fked up computer for the day.

My "beloved" mp3 player has finally failed me. Just as i thought that i can leave my plans on buying a new ipod later on and this mp3 just hang and freezes without being able to on it at all. Well guess it sucks now to save extra money just to buy the ipod now where i thought i got leave my savings for the GSS.

Well, i went to powerhouse along with freddy and kenneth ytd, and just as we all were having fun one of kenneth's friend got drunk and everyone had to stayed back and look after him, where he just too unconcious to wake up and move his ass and everyone got so worried trying every means to get him home and the worse thing his duty is just tml morning. Ha, i went there with the intention that someone's gonna take care of me since i had a bad diarrhoea that day and it ended up the other way round. It's a 1st time experience to handle a totally drunk guy, and it's damn tiring and embarrassing trying to get to his senses in front of the public. I wish that i won't have to do this kind of thing next time. But the scotch whiskey was really nice though, though i added 90% of coke in. LOL.

2009-04-19T22:21:00.002+08:00

Haix, i should say that it's not easy to drive on roads after all, tried helping the rest to reach back their home and ended up i can't go back home. How sad it was to sit on the car for nearly 2 hours going round and round like some joker and even though i didn't drank much on tw's birthday i was about to vomit in the cab from the car sickness. And the midnight charge is really frightening i should say. Anyway next time if i manage to pass driving i would get myself a gps before i venture off to unknown streets. Seriously.

2009-04-18T03:07:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it's so tiring trying to reach out to my friends and yet it's not reciprocated.

2009-04-08T20:05:00.002+08:00

Haix, dismounting time really flies damn fast and it's back to mounting tml. Good thing is tml's gonna be my exact one year of service! Can't believe that i had alrdy done so much shit for the army and from now it's exactly 10 more months to go! Bad news is i gotta get a silver for my coming ippt the next thurs or i would have to stay back from RT, which is so crappish since saf says we are drawing combat pay. Combat pay so what i wouldn't have want it and just get me out of this stupid cnb. Recently i think i have been a loser now, trying to find seats to sit on the mrt. I won't mind if it's just a normal journey, like i've usually been standing when i go out to the town or city. But gg cnb alone is damn tiring enough. I'm tired of giving in to aunties for the seats and they show the cocky face thinking that they are seniors and they deserve the seat. Even sitting for 3/4 stops they also shuang lah. Nonsense sia.

Anyway today's training was so idiotic, making us wear iep suits as if we don't know how to wear clothes on. And the suit is disgustingly smelly and awful especially the mask where i was choked by the dusk and dirt inside making me having a headache now.. Fuck.

2009-04-05T22:38:00.002+08:00

Mhm. Perhaps it was a nice wkend spent tgt with my friends. Had a class dinner with my jc mates before hanging out at dlbo for a clubbing session. I knew myself that i can't hold liquor well but ended up still drinking which made me felt like puking out the whisky that i just drank. But ended up i went back quite late and freddy stayed over at my house for the night. Well this aftn, as usual i was late meeting edmund even though he alrdy prepared for it.. haha. Anyway i realised that the guys in my class are really much more physically fitter than me after serving ns. Most, or everyone of them can hit 9 mins run for their 2.4k, while me? i'm struggling to hit 11.4 mins for my next ippt! not to say 9 or 10 mins. Well, at least in jc i would at least hit 10 mins plus and now it's totally out of reach to me. Just what had my army unit turned me into?

Haix, 2 free alternative wkends is just too little to hang around with ppl around me. I just want MORE. I wanna meet my fatty CHIA =D.

2009-04-04T02:13:00.002+08:00

This could be one of the worse moments ever felt. Fuck me, scold me or whatever i deserve. Seems like there's nothing else i can handle properly. i just hate myself.

2009-03-24T18:51:00.002+08:00

Aw, the interview was as terrible again. Going there is a problem to start with i was so close to reaching the bus-stop to alight where it started raining so heavily with lightning and thunder, and i don't have anything to cover myself from the open space. Stranded at the bus-stop for quite a while, i had to plead a nice china student to share the umbrella till he went the other way, and i got to dash across the rain to reach the stupid building. Anyway i think i prob screwed up the interview again. I couldn't give them a proper when the prof ask me what did i learn in ns! shit la, shouldn't have brought the topic in when i don't even know what have i really done in ns. KANAH! Fucked up!

Cross my fingers and wait.

2009-03-20T22:55:00.003+08:00

Aw, what a horrible dinner at chevrons. Even though it was supposed to be a makeup dinner for us commerating the cds anniversary at least it has to be a certain standard of catering services that is able to justify the cost of the dinner lah. Well anyways had to settle to rest of the fill after dinner outside. Blah.

Haix. A few more upcoming events thats gonna worry me. Tml's is my btt. Hopefully i can just get it thru to the advanced theory. Next is my ntu interview. My second time in fact. pray that i can do a 01x good one in front of the prof so that i don't need to go for the third interview next year. And my physio, the therapist found out the root cause of the joint problems is the bad posture that i had been standing since young which made me look like i got a flat foot. And now i gotta start all over again like a toddler, to learn how to stand properly on the arch of my foot, without the rely of my bone joints. I also gotta start training some part of my leg muscle that has lost it's strength since my bad habit and it's really awkard and uncomfortable to change back to the right standing posture. And lastly is my ulcer review. I really hope that it won't come back the rest of my life though it has higher chances but i just hope that i won't have to come back to draw blood anymore. Seems like the ssc incident has really started to change my phobia of needles.

All and all i just wanna have a nice and peaceful rest now after staying in camp for 9 days.

2009-03-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

i do feel like running away from problems. But i really do feel like staying. So let me just close my eyes and ignore everything around me.

2009-03-11T18:11:00.002+08:00

Booking in is tiring. Booking out is even tiring. For the 1st time i never felt so tired that i really need a cab home. And that shouldn't be the case. Never once i was feeling so energised to go somewhere else after camp, even though the common thinking for the nsf is to fully ultilise their time outside. But somehow the sian and tired feeling in yr mind spoils the day and makes me wanna go back just to slp. Travelling all the way to east is such a killer. Sometimes i have to just force my dad to drive me there, though i really felt remorseful sometimes. Yet now it has only passed 3 months and another 11 more months to endure to with. God please grant me my ord wish!!!

2009-03-10T17:44:00.002+08:00

Oh know! my long dead blog which has alrdy became my personal blog is now being exposed by the ppl in cds! Hopefully they didn't read any of my bitching post about them, though i don't remember i have ever posted one. -.-'' Oh well. Thinking of staying 9D from tml is such demoralising.

PS: Mr. Phua Meng Hong better this your last time coming back my blog!

2009-03-09T00:42:00.002+08:00

Shopping spree. Eating spree. Travelling spree.

I'm broke.

2009-03-05T19:21:00.001+08:00

ROH? Fine.
Catching a train at 5 there? RETARDED.

Saikang to the max. I'm not going to stay in tonight just for what.

2009-02-22T23:49:00.002+08:00

Haix, sometimes i really don't understand people around me anymore. Things may be appear so nice but actually it's the other way round. I wonder if i have done something so grave and serious to deserve that attitude. I'm just enjoying just 2 weekends per month, never once i ever felt so energetic after each 7D stay-in duty in camp. I really do hate this system, and it's never easy to travel all the way from one end of singapore to another everytime. My schedule is so fked up, i have so little free time, i just wan to have a peaceful weekend to enjoy, to complete my tasks, to do some catching up with my friends, even it seems so hard. But what i get in return from is ...

So after it seems like i'm yr burden.

2009-02-20T00:38:00.003+08:00

oh well, when can there ever be a peaceful unit in saf? i don't wish to get involve into anything. All i care is my ord =P I know it seems so ridiculous to think so far ahead, for people who enlisted 3 mths earlier are going off earlier.. but nvm, i just can't help thinking.

My next resolution, to complete the 42 km standard chartered run. Wonder if i can really do it.

2009-02-11T00:29:00.002+08:00

GRR. Why is everyone asking me why am i booking out everyday and enjoying life outside. Seems like all these explaining i have done constantly has gone to the drain. I just hate my unit. Don't associate me with that squadron anymore after army.

2009-02-08T21:44:00.000+08:00

One more year to . . . ORD! XD

2009-02-06T22:13:00.002+08:00

Mmm, what a race of time today. First of all i almost missed the 8.15am bus at tenah merah and i was alrdy prepared to forked up some "cab fee" into order to reach on time. But phew, the bus was even later than me. And then rush off for my medical appt at cgh ( damn how i wish this endless appts will be over!) , then rush off to the posb branch to settle some of my cards before it closes, and finally my 1st driving lesson. And now i'm lying flat after all these is over. Oh well, gotta get a kit-kat. XD

2009-02-02T20:24:00.002+08:00

So what happens this year on my cny? i just get to visit some of my relatives and the rest of the week i was doing sun. What a waste that i was unable to go hang out with the people around me and instead i had to handle those foriegners coming in and out of base. Balls to them, come here just to create more trouble for everyone. And after this day of off gotta wake up early next morning for some lectures. What a waste of time. Serious.

Woo, i finally took off some time today to start applying for driving license at bbdc today! Everyone around me has alrdy gotten their license yet i've nowhere completed my theory tests. Gotta get my license within this year, or just before my ord, cause i'm not gonna waste unnessary time after my national service. Thats will be part of my 2009 resolution. =)

2009-01-24T02:52:00.001+08:00

It's been a long time since i went out singing...
*coughs* throat pinching with pain after trying to bang the high notes.

2009-01-22T21:13:00.006+08:00

Yes, finally completed another cycle of duty. Yeah, i think i have completed 3 duty cycles, and i've alrdy been getting really sick of the job scope in the daily ops. Well, cny is so near, i guess we are still spared with some off and after that the 2nd day of cny i still gotta go back for duty for the next 6 days. People always say that there's always something to be taken or learnt over the so called "2 years" of the nsf. But till now i still felt staying in this unit is crap, perhaps maybe i've become more tolerant in certain changes been to the unit that made it so fcuked up. Thats it.

i like this song. =)

2009-01-08T20:54:00.002+08:00

Another week of duty cycle has past. Cds Ops every week seems to be more tedious and stress to me as each week passes. Things there has been going more fked up, more rules and regimentations has been added or ammended each week, and you don't see them getting lesser anywhere. And what happens means there's more shit to do even though you are getting the same pay. Doesn't that sounds similar as "inflation"? Come on the amount of workload a person can do is limited. Enough with those big shots saying so much welfare has been given such as psp and air con bunk all these shit, and expect us to do our job well and not making any mistakes. And to make matters worse now even offs and appointment has become more stringent. Specalist, earning 140 bucks more, are suppose to perform even better and to lead the man? Fuck with it man.

2009-01-01T22:00:00.002+08:00

Happy new year everyone! Hopefully everyone had a spenlid time counting down for the this fresh new start. Well for mine was that great as it was supposed to be. Went off tonning with leen at ecp and had some time looking for a nice spot to set the tent. And whole stretch was filled will tents all over the coast and made the whole park look like some slums. And next thing i fell aslp in the tent. Yeah, but i managed to woke up a min before 2009 to see the counting down. And another min after 2009 i fell back to slp again just while everyone is celebrating. The next thing i woke up.. it was 6am morning where eveyone is slping after partying the whole night. Ha, what a spoilsport i am, i would have rather sleep on my own comfortable bed that night. But to be frank i was really tired after all the booking ins and outs daily in camp, i just have insufficient sleep.

Today while i was on shawn's car and he was cursing how rude, inconsiderate and retarded taxi drivers are by stopping at the non designated areas and cutting car's lane. The next thing we heard a "Pomp!" Then there was a taxi slowing down trying to stop at the side lane. The right side wheels of the taxi is FLAT, the left side of bump came out and the light on the right side is down. It was so fking hilarious where u see the whole taxi body was tilted to the right and the taxi driver was trying to stop the taxi but couldn't and the taxi knocked on the side lane unmovable. lol. Just couldn't stop laughing though the whole way back. I'm not a sadist, but these taxi drivers really deserve this karma at the start of the new year to frighten the rest of the cabby drivers.

2008-12-31T00:07:00.002+08:00

Oh damn live range. Here i am back with all the mosquito bites all over my body, these commando mosquitoes really know their way to crawl in my covered shirt and pants. And thank goodness my lovely parent went to fetch me in the middle to the night back home or i would have been stranded in the camp for another day. And now my off in lieu today was spent on bone checks and i ended with another referral letter to nuh for bone specialist. SO now i'm attached to 2 hospitals for regular checkups. Had a short dinner with jerome and esther at vivo a few hours ago. Haha, glad to have their company before i'm booking back in again.

*i don't like people to speculate about me, i don't want people to have expectations from me. I just want to be me.

2008-12-28T15:14:00.003+08:00

What a wonderful class outing it was ytd. 06A01 total strength 15, present strength there was 15! It was another RARE times where everyone was able to make it, even though some had to leave earlier. A great thanks for esther who made the extra effort to send down the christmas cards to everyone's mailbox to inform everyone. Played some games in the settlers before reaching down to esplanade and then cafe cartel for dinner. So there the girls and guys parted where the girls went back and guys went dbl o for a chill. What a great time all of us had!

2008-12-26T23:56:00.003+08:00

Oh cool, i'm finally back from the 8 days duty cycle. I should say it was the most pathetic moments in my life to spend both my birthday and christmas together in camp. Well, yet i'm still not used to the life doing duty. It really sucks, especially with the additional fire drills and other crappy ops stuff. It just makes me feel so shag out whenever i reach back to my bunk, without the mood to call or msg and just wanna sleep or play my psp. In fact, i think i gonna get fatter as days goes by, people there just never stop eating and eating, then sleep or watch tv. Haha. I don't know whether i should say i like this kind of life, but i still gonna accept it for the rest of my nsf.

2008-12-14T16:33:00.002+08:00

WOO, poc loh! finally after 9 mths as a stupid recruit and trainee i finally passed out as a sgt loh! But it's a sad thing that one of us in sslc 8 have been ooc-ED, which isn't even justified as what he had done was just a minor offence compared to some other people who have done some grave offence but didn't get caught at all. What was worse that he was even recognised as a better trainee compared to the rest of us. But nvm, i gonna have off till tue and a half day on wed! Which is a fricking cool thing. But too bad i supposed this day is wasted off like that since that damn gabriel never follow up with me after going his church.

So here i am the whole afternoon facing the computer and my psp organizing my stuffs after finding out all my musics files and photos are all around my computer ever since my old hardrive crashed and that i have to formatted my com. I just found out that some photos and musics i lost really can't be retrieved anymore.. what a sad thing unless i can move back to my old times... haha. Lol, even my msn contacts are all over the place where i didn't bother to group them since secondary schools and now i don't even know who is who. But never mind, i shall slowly start organising everything today, one step at a time. Then it's time to get another ex- backup hardrive to save all my crappy stuffs.

Went out with the sslc 8th leaders around the town ytd. It was really a damn big group which make it wierd when walking along the streets of orchard. And it was so influencial of us wheever we went as when we stopped to look at something the next moment you see is everyone crowing around us to see what's happening.. haha. Anyway the show the day the earth stood still was a damn damn stupid show. The trailer seems nice. But wait till you watch the movie.. then you will regret it.

730

2008-12-07T01:07:00.002+08:00

"One more week to poc and we are so happy ah!" That's where everyone started singing loudly on marches each day. Urban ops was finished last mon and now it's nothing much till the day comes. Friday's ssc night was just fabulous. I would say it was much more fun and entertaining especially each and every section's performance which made our csm terrence laughing his head off. Though the sound system wasn't as zai compared to the previous batch, i think the effort made by all the ssc ppl in the performance has made up for it.. Too good that for the 1st time all confinees' weekends were spared. And there's comes the long weekend! Woohoo.

Fossil private sales today! Muhaha queued 2 hrs plus just to reach the entrance of the showroom and the whole room was clustered fuck with people, all fighting to get the cheap watches. By the time i got out of the room it was alrdy near 10 night where i didn't had my dinner then. But at least i bought something out of it or i would had let myself down today.

POC COMEON QUICK

2008-11-30T01:45:00.002+08:00

Gosh, been so tired and lethargic week after week. Gotta attend all sorts of nonsensical ranges for the new batch as well for the projects and discussions going on all these while. And now i'm supposed to find a date for the night for next friday event but think i just gonna pass that. I don't care whether the sgts recognise the shit that i have done instead of passing mere judgements, but take it as i'm just down on my luck that i'm shortlisted and i can't go tuas. And now next thing coming up is urban ops, which is another night stay around yio chu kang, before i get to pass out of this damn course peacefully.

Waste my time waste money.

2008-11-16T09:35:00.002+08:00

Wtf. How i wished this course will end quick soon. It's all full of nonsensical discussions and projects to do and it's fking killing me off. The new batch of ssc is so rebellious and hard to control, and they are just so stubborn that they don't mind their book out getting burnt off. Oh well this means everyone is booking out late later as usual. Somehow my weekends are getting more and more tighter too that i don't have the time to hang around too. But it's just another 4 weeks.. Hopefully there will be a change after this...

2008-11-08T00:36:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since i've been blogging. Anyway this week was my 1st week in sslc... and everything about there is projects and courses for the entire 6 weeks. Perhaps this may be the easiest path to obtain a sgt rank. But i hate to do projects nor i'm gifted with good oral presentation skills. Thank goodness i was able to maintain a silver for the ippt trail, and i hope i won't screw it up again on the following week. Being in changi for these few mths made me changed my perspective towards changi, though i still hope i was in tuas. Between instructor and bsc, i don't know which should i choose. Both of them have their pros and cons too. So i shall just see how after the following weeks pass...

2008-10-22T21:38:00.005+08:00

If anyone happen to be around at town in the late morning up to early afternoon and see some rowdy clowns around all around along the streets of orchard and even shopping malls, that's us. Well, we were having some cohesion activity organised by our PC called the CDS Amazing Race. Sounds crappy though, and it's not really as happening as the real amazing race, but it turn out rather a successful one. Guess everyone there isn't really interested in the game, but rather the rewards. 1st Prize : 3 days off, followed by 2 days off and the 2nd runner up 1 day off. Well ended up almost everyone was so siao on towards this game and the rest get a half day off.

The checkpoints were really crazy, and not any form of transport is allow. The 1st 2 checkpts requires us to run all the way from the cathay towards far east plaza already. The lao jiaos in my section were so on that we were like doing speed training along the streets of orchards. Traffics rules were ignored by everyone, neither are the people in the shopping centre spared, till the point where there are complains from the management around especially cineleisure. And the things we do for each checkpoints is so siasuay. Apart of taking photos with girls in public and taking their number or some other foreigners, we still gotta sing some blah blah black sheep in the middle of the streets, hugging the trees and shout "Help, the tree is falling!" and going for some spa or even eatting apples in the mall. The worse one having one waxed the whole of his lower body. But thats the fastforeward checkpoint, so that got 6 stations skipped. Other of this was to find a specific book and cd or toy in the midst of hmv and borders and toys r us.

Ha, our team didn't win, though everyone put in a lot of effort towards the 3 days off reward. There were some flaws in the game too, especially on the route as it's only within the parameters of orchards so some of the checkpts are in the same venue. But nvm, think i had some fun in it afterall.

Oh shucks, and it's duty week from tml, and it's stay in till next friday!

Sweet 18.

2008-10-19T15:51:00.003+08:00

Woah, this whole damn week is a stay out week which means i get to slp on my nice bed everyday till thursday! But it's still a total waste of time and money where i have to wake up super early and take the long train ride and cab there. It's a total waste of time and money since i'm not on any duty currently and the things i did there is super unproductive, till the pt where everyone is playing psp the whole day. But at least they have a run conducted every 2 weeks, but it's at east coast park, another inconvenience for me. Crap, why can't they conduct it in west coast park. Ha, but i'm finally starting to run now after idling for nearly 3 mths, time to build up stamina yo.

and it's time to keep my pockets tight and start saving.

2008-10-12T22:00:00.002+08:00

Ha, the endoscopy thing was just a one day thing and i was alrdy back home resting on the wednesday evening, just that i was busy mugging for the final 250 mark test where it is suppose to determine our bookout on the weekends. I really thought i was gonna got hospitalised that one with my ulcer as i still having headache and breathless even till now, but ironically the doctor says that my ulcer has fully recovered and my blood count is more than normal now. And then he refuse to further examine my condition and ask me to go back to my camp medical centre for a follow up, thinking that the place there will understand my condition better. It made me so turned off when i heard that, the army medical centre is just useless. So ended up i just got my light duties status extended when i came back.

WOo! Tml is a stay out day man, and tue will be the turn ops ceremony, where i will be moved to platoon 2 ops duty for the rest of my nsf life. It may be good for me as the platoon has more welfare compared to platoon 1. But most of my closer friends are over the other side, so guess it doesn't make any difference.

make a decision. NOW.

2008-10-09T00:28:00.001+08:00

Mugging! What a day...

2008-10-08T00:18:00.002+08:00

Tml's the day man. I don't understand why everyone in camp is so envious of me booking out where they don't understand that i'm having a minor op tml.. And they rather have it to get away from this hell in camp. But i would rather suffer there than to land in hospital again, i swear. The feeling that time was so traumatized then. I hope i'm alright tml.

Bring it foreward.

2008-10-04T12:38:00.005+08:00

Hate it man, booking back again tml?! Wtf.

Sometimes i just wanna run out from this place, fly off to somewhere else and leave myself away from everyone.

TalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalkTalk

2008-10-01T00:54:00.002+08:00

Finally had another chance to touch the computer again. Today was kinda a bit lucky for us, as the whole bunch of changi ojts are supposed to be confined for 2 days before booking out, which means my last wkend was just burnt. Life in there is much more different now as in compared to the past. Things are more flexible now and you can manage within yr own time while you are on off duty. But sadly, all these "free" time that we are supposed to be entitled with are spent on study for our COC test in order to get our cap and vocation badge. And i feel that this is just a no life basis where u either study or sleep with "fear" as almost all the playtime is taken away. This is just as comparatively opposite to tuas after meeting back our tuas ssc friends... Well seriously i'm trying to suck up my thumb and live on to it for the rest of my nsf, even though i hate this so much...

Wow, hari raya's day. Almost everyone in the army booking out for like for a day at least, while we are booking in back tml morning to have our range. With so, we will be boarding the LST ship and sail to the south china sea to have our sea live firing with the GPMG. It's gg to be an eye opener... But still it sucks as it takes so much time and effort for the stores to be done to prepare for the shooting.. And hopefully i would come back again on fri if nothing goes wrg...

Shit, my appointment is just next wed. I just wanna run away from it. I know myself that it is still not fully recovered yet, but hopefully it won't happen.. Cause i don't wanna go back there again. If the worse case really happens... maybe my status would be extended probably another 6 weeks and by then i doubt i can even complete my leadership course...

Fcuk up feeling.

2008-09-18T21:56:00.003+08:00

Aw, my genes has been becoming more and more lazy nowadays which made this rusty blog of mine feel so neglected. It's not that i got nothing to type in here but sometimes there are too much things that i wanna write it down till i have this mindset of " fcuk it, i'm dont feel like typing". But guess that shouldn't be the way since i suppose that this is the only blog left that keeps me connected to the rest of the ppl and friends arounnd me.

Ok, i have finally passed out from the course after fricking 12 weeks and now heading towards ojt, where ppl start to learn to do ops and duties there. And the shit thing is i'm still stuck in changi, which means for the rest of my nsf i gonna spend a hell lotta money and time just on transportation. Seriously, that night on my poc i should have just tell my sgt st8 that i would give up my instructor posting to go to tuas, but i didn't had the balls to do it somehow. And now i felt so down after hearing abt our lives in the future beeing in cds. Everything is so fcuk up overthere. This week of bloc leave perhaps will be the last of my little freedom this year and gotta get prepared for burnt weekends coming future. Being in army really suck.

Ok, gotta take a break now.

2008-09-07T02:07:00.002+08:00

Phew, this week was a fast but hectic one.. Being a status really suck as i hate to do stores and other saikang work for the main platoon, and it gets so bored sitting down there doing nothing while the ZzZ monster comes and attack me. Finally the shooting ranges are over, cause i really hate waiting for the whole day just to press a few triggers to feel the fun of shooting a weapon. Well, fri's ssc night was over, though it was pretty screwed up with our section performance too. Now it's 1 more wk to poc!

4th

2008-08-31T17:34:00.002+08:00

AW, today gotta book back in camp. Getting an mc is so addictive, once u get it you just want it forever. XD Anyway though i'm recovering i feel weird all around my body. Part of my muscles are aching weirdly and i just can't stand the sight of it. Haix nvm, 2 weeks more to the end of the course and hopefully it passes at a blink of an eye. Anyway i got 6 weeks of light duties there means it's gotta get so boring with no physical training at all. Sian, gotta go prepare for book in now.

Mama Mia

2008-08-26T21:10:00.004+08:00

Phew, finally at last i shall give myself a pat that this period of hell is finally over. No one in the hell knows how bad my condition was and i always thought i will be alright after seeing a doctor for such headaches and dizziness. Even i myself didn't know that for the past 2 weeks i actually had 3 times lesser blood than what normal people have, which turns me into a half zombie all the people like the ssc friends call it what "yellow man" or some sort of weird shit.

So well, i went back to the camp half dead last wed hoping that the medical centre there would help me. But instead i got poked like **** there and was put on drip like some stupid faggot for the whole day and i still have to crawl my way back to the camp which is like 1 klick away. Anyway 1 klick stroll seem to be a easy feat, but in my condition i was alrdy panting like fk for every 20 steps i made, and i had i stop for 5 mins to rest to continue. So, well i deserved to be landed into the hospital on my next visit to the centre 2 days after i came back. At least they found out whats wrg with me finally.

5 days stay in CGH, wasn't a pleasant stay at all, even though there were some distractions with some jokers around in the hospital. Even now so i'm freak out on every needle i see knowing that they will get it poked into my veins some day. My virginity is over with 3 stranger's blood flowing inside my body. But i owe it to them since they saved my life, haha. Hopefully i'm alrite now, and it's been 2 weeks since i had any nice food and i just can't wait to grab all of them to eat, but still that will take a while. Anyway i should deserved those with my 4.5 kg lost over this episode and now i'm almost comparable to freddy. =/ Haix, a few more days and i have to report back to the camp again and spend the last 2 weeks of the course. Oh well...

Thank you all of your visits, your care, concerrn for me through msgs, letters, cards, giftts, smses etc through my moment of hell.
Loves to all of u.

2008-08-19T14:00:00.001+08:00

I'm soooo unwell.

2008-08-17T17:23:00.003+08:00

Something is terribly wrg with me. It's such a rare oppurtunity that i have such a long weekends, but unfortunately i have to stay all the 4 days lying on my bed. The medicines that the doctor gave isn't working at all, and what i see myself in the mirror feeling pale and fainting. And if this migrane or fainting feeling goes on, i may have to get a jab or even do a blood test tml. I really want to go out rather than sticking my ass on the bed, but it seems like i can't even walk properly for more than a minute. This is fcuk up, how could this be happening to me.

2008-08-09T22:50:00.003+08:00

Happy 43th birthday Singapore! Aha singapore has aged another year but this year for me wasn't as happening as before as those years before in the pass where i used to hang around late in the night after watching the fireworks. It was supposed to have a class gathering today. But ended up everyone started pulling out leaving me alone with the 3 girls S.H.E for a simple dinner today. Haix, wouldn't it be just as wonderful if it was 2 years before..

For my SSC 7th week was a crazy week for me. I was struggling to prevent myself from falling sick while i was appointed the platoon ic for 4 damn days alrdy, and while aside from getting punished for every single apparent reason i gotta do things extremely faster than anyone else in order to push my man faster, and i have seen those really fcuked up people around. Ah, being my 1st time platoon ic was just a stress job be it in the day where i gotta put on a good show in front of all the sgts and in the night i gotta rush my work collating medical status slips from everyone. I think i would really breakdown if the weekends weren't here, hopefully i get my appointment changed pretty soon.

Responsibility sucks.

2008-08-03T10:26:00.002+08:00

Week 5 have passed, now i'm offically halfway thru the course. This week was a damn slack week, practically learning how to tie ropes throughout the seamanship course. So we ended up having a timeless amount of standbys as we were idling too much. I finally got my 1st status, so for the whole week in excuse from running. But crap, the coming week will be a tough one and i gonna be the next appointed platoon ic. Hopefully everything gonna runs smoothly for me.

This period seems to have so much nice movies and i have been on the movie marathons every weekends trying to catch each and single of them. Haha, perhaps it's really a good way to kill time to rather then walking around aimlessly doing window shopping. Furthermore, my head has just been shaved again and the length was even shorter than the bmt days, making me feel even weirder whenever i walk around.

2008-07-25T22:43:00.003+08:00

5th week of ssc has passed. Training is getting more and more intense, and life isn't easy over there at all. Apart from the usual stuffs i have to do, now comes with more major problems within the platoon, and the platoon seems like falling apart any sooner or later. I can't believe there are still some fcuked up peoples around to tear the platoon down or even politics which so much distrust and backstabbing towards one another. Fking hypocrites and wayangs, do whatever they want man, just don't let me be involved. Furthermore, how demoralizing it is each day to see that the main platoon has the equal strength as the status group now. My damn knee is starting to ache again but i'm still restraining myself from reporting sick as i have enough work from the sick stuffs. Haix, what a sad life down in changi naval base.

2008-07-18T22:44:00.002+08:00

I don't understand why must we always wry about how to get back home after each and every bookout. The shuttle buses provided are not reliable as it's always packed with perm staffs, the road is too clear of taxis, and even calling it takes a hard time on it. Training is really making me feel more and more lethargic. What the physical programs we have are run and swim and run and swim and run and swim everyday, as well as the daily 4 klick marches routine. I'm pretty tired of the run and i don't think i'm able to catch up with the pacing in my current group. My appointment, is taking away all of my admin and personal time. Not only that, standards of each sgts are always diff and i have to comply to each and everyone of them with such a constain time that makes me feel like i couldn't breathe. And what they want is good standards with such a little time allowance for myself. It's kinda selfish to me and i mentally stressed with such a tremendous amt of people reporting sick till the point that sooner or later the platoon would have less than half a strength. Argh, what a pathetic state i have landed in, just let me be a clerk.

2008-07-11T22:36:00.002+08:00

The short 5 days of my 1st book in really seems like 5 weeks, i've finally struggled back home after i realised that there wasn't any shuttle bus back and the there weren't any taxi services around that area. The training had not yet started, and i believed that it would be demanding and intense. Schedules are always as packed as ever, we alrdy had our saw live range today and upcoming next week will be on gpmg... Punishments and regimentals was so fcuked up, though i have no choice still, where they punish for every slightest mistake, till the pt that we have to do stand bys even more than ever in bmt, long dist marchings for trainings and all.

But all these physical trainings and punishments were still nothing, my stupid appointments that i got gave me the most mental stress. While the rest were alrdy having their rest in the early evening, i'm still not yet done with my task and what i had left was just the few mins before RO. I gotta race with time day after day, running up and down the building collecting medical slips out of 65 people. I'm so so tired of it, though it's just the 1st week, unlike platoon ic which rotates around every week, i gotta do the entire shit myself for rest of the 9 weeks. I'm so stress up while some people in my bunks are kinda self centre so i have no choice but to catch up with their work each and now, but after all we come from different backgrds so bad luck i guess. Even still, i have to stress of what songs to sing during the long marches and no matter how much i tried the platoon still gets punished everytime.

Time and time again i keep telling myself to endure through the entire course, but sometimes i really wanna wriggle my way out of there cause i can't take it sometimes. It may just be sooner or later before i get a breakdown. I barely have the time to talk to anyone on the phone. Even so, the stupid starhub doesn't have any network there. Just how long can i still go through this.

Fcuk it man.

2008-07-06T16:24:00.002+08:00

Oh shit, gonna booked in at changi naval base pretty soon. Hopefully i have spent my time meaningfully over the weekends. I guess i'm gonna gain some weight again before i enlist to the new vocation. The supper previous night was great, but was kinda scared off by the minor accident as mh was the driver. Oh well, off i go now.

2008-07-04T00:44:00.002+08:00

Rp postings results are out. And as expected, i'm still remain as a sea soldier. Well, i though there could still be some last min changes but unfortunately, all the ppl in the navy sector weren't even touched at all. Still its better after all as i'm not one of the 82 ppl posted to airtroopers, which means hell, but neither am i posted as a dog handler where the camp is just 15 mins walk from my house, which means i have to wake up early to travel to changi from now. Thankfully, i didn't managed to fail my theory test as people like me who slps on every lecture don't deserve to pass afterall. So now i have officially completed the course after 2 weeks! Holidays are over and back to the real training next week.

These few days i realised that my back was actually slightly slouch after all, which doesn't looks pleasant to me at all. I supposed that this is due to the accumulated years of lacking confidence to standing upright with the vertically challenged me. So i shall now stand straight on my back to prevent myself from shrinking further in the future!

Sometimes after things happen for some time i guess there isn't a need to explain or argue further anymore. I'm not some god who can tell whether how people are feeling right now, neither should i think twice before i talk or i would rather talk to a stranger after all. And i don't think i should deserve smt like that, as in not as if people are pure never once ridiculous before. So i shalln't fcuking care less at how ppl rant at me.

Enjoyable ^

2008-07-01T21:49:00.002+08:00

Hm, this is gonna be the last week that i'm going to enjoy the luxury of staying out, which means no more staying out in the night or slping at my own bed for the weekdays anymore. Rp course is ending soon, where tml will be the last day which i will be wearing my lbv and helm. How i wish life in the naval base would be better and less fcuked up, and i'm feeling so fcuked up now though. I'm sick and tired of it, i should just let go.

It's nothing. nothing.

2008-06-27T19:35:00.002+08:00

Fcuking retarded rp course.. The more i learnt about it the more i find that it isn't my cup of tea after all. The hardest training over there is to keep myself awake in the boring lectures, and for this i have been punished my the commanders for being one of the notorious sleepers. Even the 3klick run was like so senior citizen's walk a jog as there are obese ppl and pes c soldiers around. But there's really no choice when i seldom get to rest during this week at all.. And it's super tiring and saddening to see unhappy events happening recently. And today was finally a relieve as everything is over. Hm, another week more to go.

Wishes.

2008-06-23T22:26:00.002+08:00

It was such an early morning to wake up and squeeze thru the train with my duffle bag and field bag on all the way just to make it to tanah merah. It was with such a coincidence that i manage to see weihao again even though he was travelling towards eunos. But thankfully i was not the only one in this stupid vocation, there were actually 4 in my platoon! But life could be made MUCH more easier for us if we had known that we are staying out at clementi camp for 2 weeks, where all of the future sea soldiers went to changi naval just standing there to report.

I don't know how the training for my vocation would be like though, as i'm going thru 2 week course in rp with yenhao over there, which was much more fun over in the rp. Well, poor xc is now suffering in sispec and their 1st day was horrible enough compared to bmt. My buddy tk whose in guards, couldn't be contacted at all. So perhaps after all my vocation is'nt that bad and should training back at cnb is really tough, i shall think that there are still others that are worse off than me!

Slack, i want it.

2008-06-22T00:05:00.002+08:00

Wow, finally went to get some exercise playing badminton after resting for more than a week, legs feeling much better, though there are still some cracking movements on my legs and arms whenever i move and turn. Seems like having no injury serving the saf is impossible after all, but afterall there's no choice so gonna just "S&F".

Just got my new posting ytd, and i expected something normal like sispec till i found out that i've been posting to the changi naval base as a sea soldier leader. I don't even know what kind of shitty vocation that is but the idea of having to travel even further than saf ferry terminal this time makes my mood turns off, ofF, oFF. And no one knows what kind of vocation it is neither is anyone getting the same posting as me. So i gonna be a loner there working in a unknown environment in the coming 2 days. Well, i've check out the forums and gotten some idea of it, and come to think of it, it really sucks to have so much regimentals like standbys and other stupid stuffs like bmtc recruits do. Worse i heard that i have to remain botak for the rest of my nsf again, which is like super ridiculous as i'm still like a recruit forever.

http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/showthread.php?t=1648695
The darn forums that i found. ALL negative stuffs. Shit.

It's been a long time since there's another 06A01 class outing today and a while earlier i was outside the bugis lib stoning and waiting for time to pass which i realised after that it was such a stupid thing to do. So it's at the esther's all time fav place "loupatsa" at raffles place where we had our dinner as well as spending time on catching up with one another. Hm, seems like everyone is seperating into different paths in time to come, but hope that we are still able to keep in contact years down the road.

Mummy, it's over.

2008-06-19T01:10:00.002+08:00

Been killing myself going out and out splurging everyday till i didn't notice the my wallet burnt off like shit. Haha, but i really like the life of a citizen though where i have all my freedom and not to fcuking think about army and the stupid re-route march even though the my unit posting will be out just tml. I think i have caught up with all the movies that i wanted to watch now, been eating as much sumptous food where it was never in the cookhouse, and game as much as i wan't. Friends truely come and go, what i could hold on i just gonna hold, and the rest will let the future decides. And this will probably be the last day which i'm splurging on clothes, as i'm left with just a hundred bucks for the month and it really means tough finiancial management for me. Well, hopefully everyone is doing fine outside too.

If i have a hundred hands, or maybe a thousand.

2008-06-15T23:15:00.002+08:00

12 days of bloc leave... It's too short enough for me to play enough, eat enough, or to recover from my injuries. This arthritis thing is hurting my knee now after enduring it for a fricking 2 mths, and i pray that i won't become a permnent one or i'm in deep shit. The medicine is such a killer, the amount of dosage never fails to make me fall into deep sleep within less than an hour, nor it is helping me as i'm not taking it regularly and been eating so much crappy food lately. Seems that i might really gonna die in this stage as i'm not helping myself after all.

I can't believe that i actually went to the zoo and completed the whole course of route as seen in the map. That means i have actually seen all of the animals which are available on the zoo, haha. Nice experience though, even though i hestitated to go there initially. But it would be so long next time before i actually come back to that place again. But anyway thanks to esther for the free tik.

Re route march postponed. Hopefully it will never come back again. I don't care if i'm passing out with a 12 klick march, cause i'm fine with it.

Darn, i miss my songs and i want all them back. The songs on my mp3 are turning into "oldies" soon.

Random thoughts.

2008-06-12T17:20:00.002+08:00

Yay, there goes pop which is over and finally the 12 days of bloc leave is what everyone has been waiting for. There goes a section party for the whole of yesterday up to the following morning, and it was really such a great time spent eating and playing the whole damn day. And i got myself even sick after all these time and my knee got worsen or something. It took me a long time whether to go for the route march tml evening until just after i got my 2 days mc and everyone started calling in and shouting "No more 24 klick!" So there goes my MC which is practically useless now, but now i'm prescribed with 11 medicines to be taken everyday and i can't do much leg movements before it starts to get worsen, and i think it's worsen to the extent after 2 mths that i have problems climbing stairs now. Shit.

Days are over.

2008-06-08T20:29:00.002+08:00

Cool, finally gotten such privillege to have this night off, though it was made with such a long decision for this to happen. The drill squad competition was so unfair anyway with those stupid judges, where we should have gotten something out of it. But still thanks to my knee which made me missed my sit test and ruin my whole bmt life. I couldn't finished my soc now and then, i couldn't even pass confidently for my sbj and i was forbidden to finish up my route march, which makes my bmt life so imcomplete. And the next thing you ever know is pop which is just 2 days from now. Just don't know what to say next and hopefully i won't need to come back for RT on my bloc leave.

Slloow.

2008-06-01T00:10:00.002+08:00

Well, another major highlight of bmt is completed, though i'm still lagging badly behind schedules. I think i gonna get myself ooc from soc due to my knee, and probably i gonna pass out with a 12 klick march due to the fcuk up schedules planned behind. Perhaps this march doesn't matter to me, since i'm always the one having problems of migrane with route marches. All, i wanna do is to get thru the ippt on mon and enjoy the rest of my remaining days in bmt. Afterall, bmt may be the most exciting part of my army life. But if i would have a choice, i could have betrayed orion and left for the U coy. Orion is always seen to have the worst welfare among the history after seeing ppl comparing with other coy and participating in another coy for my sit-test. At least, the U coy could regonise our effort for helping out on shit jobs while our own coy just exploited us. Fine, i'm also used to booking out on sat night weekly and i gotta do my ns homework now.

riddicculus

2008-05-25T02:10:00.002+08:00

Darn, so sad right up till now. My knees have still yet recovered from pain after a month and my status made me missed the route march for the sit test and in the end i was unable to participate anything. Thus for the last 3rd week of bmt i did nothing but all the shitty jobs, known as the saikang. And these shitty jobs are not easy after all, with all the heavy duties we have to perform for the sit-test and the minimum amount of sleep we get make us look even shagged out than the rest. The worse thing comes in with the snowball effect where the re-sit test next week clashes with the IPPT, BAC or even the live grenade throw. Doubt i ever get to pass out properly with all these imcomplete courses. Oh well, should i have known all these would happen i won't want to see the MO anymore.

CAN"T CATCH UP.

2008-05-19T19:10:00.002+08:00

I've been devalued to a dollar lesser.

Edmund Koh GH.

2008-05-19T01:18:00.002+08:00

Back to blogging, been shagged out of field camp. It was just fortunate that i managed to survive thru the six days of hell. My knees are just numb from those pain after 4 weeks, and i gotta see the medic before my sit test comes in this coming thursday. Still, it wasn't as hell as i expected though there were some casualties among the company. BUt well, i don't care less since it's alrdy over now and there goes around 3 weeks more before i pass out from bmt.

It was a tough way getting back home, especially i couldn't contact anyone ytd and after today i realised that my family is at malaysia and i gotta do all the cleaning shit alone. But well, it's better now since they are back home. Didn't make any plans for today initially but ended out there was kinda a mini A01 outing with at area around river valley rd for dinner and dessert. How great, another nice day spent off. Guess it won't be such nice if vesak day wasn't on the following day.

The 6 days of crazy life.

2008-05-09T20:53:00.004+08:00

What a shagged week again. Barely got any time to rest with the live range as well as the cocked up schedules. The live range 1st was super bored due whole afternoon doing nothing other than doing some clearing of live ammunition which dragged up to 2am plus. Night shooting was so fcuked where somehow everyone got screwed up over the shootings due to the poor maintenance. Rifle cleaning is god damn boring, cleaning the bloody rifle for 3 times along with my buddy's. Standby beds, i think we have alrdy done it for nearly 20 times. Knocking down on the floor all around the place, parade squares, bedrooms, staircases, lecture rooms.. nothing could be lesser than that. Every bookout is kind of madrush, playing around with us with the changing of bags to book out. Training schedules, i think the worse day was 60:120 , rifle PT, agr.

And i'm pretty SHAGGED off nOW.

Field camp is just next few days, and here i am everyday feel so insecure afraid that i may missed out some impt stuffs to bring. My army stuffs are so fcuked, or somehow i am destined to be the unlucky one. My field pack broke off on the route march, my torch bulb started to go bonkers recently, my waterbag got leakage and never got back after exchange, my LPV zip broke after zipping just a few times. I'll probably just die off in the fild camp like the sgts would tell us, and even so hearing what happened from the xiong coy in sch 1. I'm rethinking going into the command sch now, sgts are not that great after all. I just hate this.

Pithole.

2008-05-04T17:48:00.002+08:00

I don't know why but i somehow felt so pathetic in terms of my academic and military life. It's so pathetic to see that even ntu doesn't want me and nor any replies from other schools yet. Should i have know i would have done a backup plans for my future too. Field camp is coming near, live range is just tml, and i got this feeling that i will screw up everything and unable to complete my last 24 klick route march. haiz, what should i do next?

Caught another movie with my cousin this afternoon, and it was some kiddy movie called nim's island or somthing. Seems so like childhood days watching fairytales again.

2008-05-04T00:40:00.003+08:00

Didn't been slping well for the past 2 days, though it was thought to be a relaxed period over the 2 days. The 1st night was horrible with 3 to 4 people coughing throughout the night and irritated everyone in the bunk. Training was more in the form of punishment, as people kept attempting to slack throughout the day. Nevertheless, the schedule planned was irritating, and we had like almost 10 heads out for the past hr while the platoon is resting after lunch. Stand by bed is so fcuk up, since the commanders like it so much. We had 3 stand by bed on the whole of friday and on the next day got fcuk by the commanders due to stand by bed again. SDC is just a waste of time where we did nth due to the late bus.

Argh, bad news. NTU doesn't want me into business. This is so fcuked up when i spent so much time on that application even going thru the process of an appraisal. I almost tore the acceptance letter when i saw that i was posted to economics. That made me emo on the fri night and my alarm clock woke everyone in my section up except for me the next morning.

Finally got to catch iron man at cathay today! What a great day it was with no RT on! It's a good thing that i managed to got on the good seats out of the whole damn occupuied seats in the theatre .

2008-04-30T22:17:00.002+08:00

My 2nd book out! Not as glamourous as the 17 days confinement bookout day and the feeling is just normal now. What a good thing those pes c companies surrounding us are even booking out too on their adjustment period. Those pes c recruits all around us, some seem like their perfectly fine and they can do more than 20+ pull ups while on the extreme side are just... a handfull hopeless fatsos who can even do any exercise other than buddha clap and they just walk around slowly to meal house to eat eat eat without having a proper seat for themselves.

Well, what a great news over the week is that i managed to pass my IPPT diag test after slogging so much shitty effort for it, which means i won't get to confine over the weekends doing extra physical training! Having freedom out is what recruit see as the most precious thing. If i would to get confine, this means that i gotta book in and out 2 times per weekend which practically waste all of my time travelling to and forth. Still, i'm very disappointed with my results especially on my pullups and sbj, which the crucial factor is my weight.

The training schedule is so tight today that everyone hardly gets to rest, doing standby bed everyday or even twice a day, rushing for physical training and drills, especially in drill squad which makes things worse, and getting fcuk by the commanders for the whole damn day since morning. Lights not off during lights out, fidgeting, chatting on soc ground, sluggish mvt, stupidity these and that all sums up to the whole day of punishment. Hw bored can that be.

I tried almost all my obstacles on the soc ground and i still cant complete the low rope and swingtrainer after so much tries. These damn obstacles just makes my blisters worsen and with my present fats still around makes it impossible to complete it. The stupid ramps just makes my leg hurts. Ironically the jacob's ladder seems easier than expected which could be said the easiest obstacle of all. Anyway it's so obvious that i gonna fail soc anyway.

Enough of blogging, my head is nodding off.

2008-04-27T13:36:00.002+08:00

Damn, a whole sat is just not enough to spent my time resting off meaningfully. The nike cap looks so wierd on me in my bald head, so i went down the streets of orchard to get another cap. Things seems to be different nowadays, i'm starting to get unfamiliar with the routes and directions somehow. It's somehow not used to being caught between the civilian and military style of life. I could finally appreciate how nice our mainland's food are, compared to the old small cookhouse, which i will be going back there tonight.

Fcuk it, my 960i is starting to get disobedient after being neglected for more than 2 weeks. I couldn't recieve any calls or msgs the whole morning till freddy called down my house and told me that he couln't reach me. Guess it wouldn't be long before i get pissed off and smash this phone into pieces. Anyway, i would be coming down to causeway to have lunch again with him before i go off. Sad to say, Orion is one of the earliest to book in later this evening and i wouldn't have much time staying here too. The journey there gonna takes "ages", so always good to have a car to drive there!

no one

2008-04-25T21:36:00.002+08:00

Whew, i'm really going crazy after being confine in the stupid tekong for 17 days. I think i have started to lose my touchtyping momentum. NS is starting to make me feel stupid somehow, there's like no need for any brain thinking and all you need is listen and follow or get fcuk. Simple. I simply got too much to say here, but i just can't type them out due to my stupidity. What that really bothers me is my 2 big contrast of skin tone with such an obvious shirt tanline. It's damn obvious especially since i just entered for merely 2 weeks plus and i just don't fucking know what will happen to me after 2 years. To makes things worse, i feel that my body is getting even heavier and bulkier each day.

Getting confined in the stupid tekong is really sickening and depressing. There are so rules and regulations as well as restrictions to certain thing that u can do. Confinement or in another word adjustment week takes only 2 weeks, but we are doing it for more than 2 weeks, 2 weekends, 2 sundays. I doubt no one in my jc class will ever understand this crazy feeling. And our company was the 2nd earliest to get enlisted and now we were the last to get book out in the night. And with this new stupid system, my coming bloc leave will be like only 5 days? This really sucks.

Haha, training over there was shag but managable somehow or another. Each morning i woke up thinking that i won't make it for the day but another moment i realised that i had ended the day with all these stupid trainings. Schedules were really kinda tied up, where trainings get be like 2 AGRs in a day. I could do anything there but not running which i hate it. And things that i have really regretted was growing fat during the A level period which made my combat fitness dropped drastically.

The feeling back in Singapore was so weird with all the cars on streets and civilians walking around and not marching. The first shopping mall i saw was the new downtown east where the lightnings and decor made me felt like i was in australia. But too bad that that was not a reality. I'm just a soldier after all.

Adjusting to.